The Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation for Postpartum Depression Awareness   

             I'd like to share with you a tragic, personal experience with the fervent hope and prayer that none of you will ever have to endure what my daughter, Ruth, and her family have experienced.  Before Ruth was stricken with postpartum depression, I had never even heard of it.  I want you to be more prepared and informed than we were so what happened to Ruth will not happen to you or anyone your life touches.  
        Ruth died at the age of 33 because her doctors and her family were grossly uninformed about postpartum depression.  Her death was absolutely unnecessary.  Had I known then what I know now, Ruth would be alive today. In my opinion, the three essential elements to proper treatment of postpartum depression are:

·        Correct medication for each individual

·        Proper counseling or psychotherapy

It is extremely dangerous to delve into a PPD mom’s past history and dredge up incidences of abuse or matters that cause her pain and/or guilt.  This type of counseling sends moms who are already feeling totally unnecessary and unworthy spiraling into even deeper depression.  PPD is completely different from nearly all other depressive disorders.  Treatment of such old wounds should be addressed only after a PPD mom has recovered completely from postpartum depression/psychosis.

·        Participation in a good postpartum depression support group. 

             Had all of these elements been in place in Ruth’s treatment, I am convinced Ruth would have survived. Proper treatment can be tricky and may take extra time and thought, but it is certainly do-able.

RUTH

            So….let me introduce you to my daughter -- “Sweet Ruth,” as Pastor Dan Bacon, Ruth’s pastor in Lexington, SC calls her.  Ruth was a happy, bubbly, even-tempered young woman who brightened up the room when she walked in.  She didn’t start talking until she was 2, but then never shut up!  As my husband always told her,  “Ruth it takes 3 hours for you to tell about a 2 hour movie!  Fast forward.”  She was always trying to squeeze in 48 hours of activity into 24.  She never had a day of depression in her entire life, was as stable as a rock with a strong faith in Our Lord Jesus Christ and would be the last person on the face of the earth you would ever expect to take her own life.

            I am firmly convinced the Lord has used Ruth to further the cause of postpartum depression.  Because of the kind of person she was, her death makes a greater impact on the world she lived in.  Had she been an introverted person who had few friends and whose life didn’t deeply touch a wide variety of folks, the impact of her death wouldn’t have begun to be so great nor would it have touched as many lives as it has.

 However, Ruth was also somewhat of a perfectionist and wanted everything done right and just the way she wanted it done, AND she was exceptionally strong-willed.   These characteristics contributed greatly to her severe depression because she was unable to “chill out” and let go of insignificant chores to relieve her stress level.

            As I said earlier, Ruth had many, many friends.  As an indication of that, before Andrew was born she was given five baby showers!  She was a sensitive, loving, thoughtful, caring young woman who was excited about the upcoming birth of her baby. She loved her husband, family, and friends passionately and spoiled her co-workers by always asking them if they wanted her to pick up something for lunch for them when she went to get hers.  The coworker who replaced Ruth as comptroller at her job has good naturedly informed the folks there that “Ruth has spoiled you all.  Don’t expect me to do the same!”

            As her coworker told me after Ruth’s death, before PPD Ruth had no problems.  She would always come in to work in the morning talking about her cats or her husband, Joey.  The coworker never woke up in the morning wondering, “I wonder what kind of mood Ruth will be in this morning” – -she knew it would always be a good one.

            To sum up what happened to Sweet Ruth, I think her husband, Joey, has put it best by saying that postpartum depression took a piece of steel (referring to the kind of person Ruth was) and twisted it into nothing.

             In addition to wanting to promote postpartum depression awareness, I want to clear up any questions you may have surrounding Ruth’s death.   Let me assure you.   Although she pulled the trigger, Ruth DID NOT commit suicide.    Let me repeat that.  RUTH DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE.  Postpartum depression killed my child.  She had no more control over what she did than anyone suffering from MS, polio, or any other crippling disease can control their paralyzed or partially paralyzed bodies.  Ruth’s mind was literally paralyzed by postpartum depression, which made it physically impossible for her to think clearly or rationally.  It is extremely hard NOT to fall into the trap of treating a PPD mother as if she can reason as she always has.  I stress that point not only because I think it will help those who knew and loved Ruth dearly, but also, God forbid…. so that if you should have to experience postpartum depression either firsthand or through someone very close to you, you will be much better informed than we were. 

It is tremendously hard to understand how someone who is normally completely all- together and as steady as the rock of Gibraltar can suddenly cease to be able to make simple decisions or even see themselves realistically.  Before our experience with PPD, I was one of those who thought “baby blues” was merely a matter of attitude.  Well, let me tell you, nothing could be farther from the truth.  Unfortunately, I would venture to say, the vast majority of medical caregivers all too often make the mistake of not taking the complaints of PPD women seriously and assume what they are experiencing is “baby blues” which will only last about two weeks.  It has been reported that even though research is being conducted on PPD, the information isn’t filtering down from the researcher to medical caregivers very well.  Therefore, too many doctors are totally unaware of how serious PPD really is.  
      
     Let me digress for a moment and let’s talk about suicide.  Suicide is a real possibility with either severe PPD or postpartum psychosis.  PPD patients should be watched extremely carefully for any suicidal signs such as statements like “I’d like to go to sleep and never wake up.” or “I’m no good to myself or anyone else – especially not to my baby.”  It’s at this very moment that mother needs psychiatric help and needs it immediately.  If this should occur on the weekend and a psychiatrist cannot be reached, take her to the nearest emergency room.  And it goes without saying this step must be taken if an actual attempt is made on her life.  Please do not make the mistake of trying to cover up or ignore suicidal attempts.  They will not go away without proper treatment.  Before Ruth’s first suicide attempt, she even made the statement that she thought she needed to be institutionalized, and that scared her to death.  WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN HER FOR PSYCHIATRIC TREATMENT IMMEDIATELY.  Instead, we kept working with her Ob/gyn and took some bad advice from the internet which advised us to take Ruth on a short trip to give her a break from the responsibility of the baby.  Moving her geographically had nothing to do with the cause of Ruth’s PPD and, therefore, did not address the major problem.

    Another very important tip along these lines is after a person is treated for severe depression and/or a suicide attempt, it is after they have been medicated and are seemingly getting much better that THEY MUST BE WATCHED EVEN MORE CAREFULLY.  The reason for that is when a person is severely depressed, she normally doesn’t have the energy to follow through with suicidal thoughts.  BUT after being treated and regaining her energy is when she is most likely to follow through!  This is true of anyone who is suicidal – not just PPD victims.

Another vitally important point I want to make here on behalf of a PPD sufferer is there should be no stigma attached to PPD (or any mental illness). Postpartum depression is not a character flaw nor is it an indication of weakness.  It has nothing to do with whether you are a weak person or a strong person.  It is a disease of the body that happens to affect the mind rather than the liver, kidneys, pancreas, lungs, heart, etc.   And let me just interject this from personal experience.  It is totally unacceptable and actually debilitating to anyone with an illness to be treated as if he or she chooses to be ill.  NOBODY WANTS TO BE SICK! 

Make no mistake.  Postpartum depression has the potential of being a killer.  It is an illness as serious as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia; however, it is totally treatable.  Because it only strikes 1 in 10 women, there are 9 chances out of 10 that you will not be affected.  Even though I AM NOT a public speaker, I have chosen to speak to anyone willing to listen so that, in the event that you or someone you know experiences some degree of postpartum depression, you will, hopefully, be armed with good information so that you will know exactly what to do and where to go for help before the illness becomes as severe as Ruth’s did. There is precious little information available about PPD, and it is normally skimmed over in birthing classes.  I even had one of Ruth’s counselors at the hospital where she gave birth to Andrew tell me she had looked up information on PPD in the hospital library and there was none.  So we had practically no information available to us.  And a lot of the information we found on our own over the Internet was really bad information such as, “take your wife out to supper”, “buy a new dress”, “take her out of town for a few days for some relaxation”.  This has absolutely no effect on the hormonal imbalance, which is causing PPD!  Accept it for what it is (a hormonal imbalance affecting the brain) and treat it accordingly.

If you don’t remember anything else I have written, please remember this:  POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS A TEMPORARY, TOTALLY TREATABLE ILLNESS.  NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO DIE FROM IT IF PROPERLY DIAGNOSED AND TREATED.  Also, most sufferers of PPD do not have it as severely as Ruth did.  From reports I have read, however, to minimize the risks of it’s becoming that severe, PPD needs to be diagnosed and treated just as soon as possible.   In other words, there is no way to tell who will experience PPD severely and who will not, so my feeling is each case should be treated by the medical profession and families as potentially severe.  By that I mean, for Lord’s sake don’t chalk it up to “Oh, that’s just baby blues” or “That’s only a bit of female hysteria” and not take it very seriously.  Neither should it, under any circumstances, be diagnosed and treated over the phone as was Ruth’s and other patients with whom I have spoken.  Women exhibiting signs of PPD should be watched very carefully and should be seen in the doctor’s office at least once a week.  I’ll even go one step further and say that every new mother should be watched by her obstetrician for signs of PPD.  It wouldn’t hurt for the pediatrician to become involved in this, either.

When psychotropic drugs are introduced, the mother should be referred immediately to a psychiatrist who is familiar with treating PPD and with regulating these types of drugs. Then there should be weekly follow-up by the psychiatrist until both patient and doctor are comfortable that the patient is out of danger and is responding well to medication.  I’ve even heard stories of doctors who have called their severely depressed patients daily until they were thought to be out of harm's way.   
    Postpartum depression has been said to be the deepest depression there is, and must be treated differently and watched more carefully than other forms of depression. It may be necessary to change medication as well as to regulate dosage several times until the right combination is found.  If it is felt by the patient that her caregiver is not listening to what she is telling him, does not understand or if she has any misgivings whatsoever about her treatment, it is vitally important for the patient to keep searching until she finds someone whom she can trust to give her proper care.  This is vitally important. What I’m telling you here is information geared to serious PPD cases.  DON’T FORGET – SUCH CASES ARE IN THE MINORITY.  The reason I am sharing in such detail with you is, again, in the off chance that you or someone you know may experience a severe case, you will not make the mistakes we made and you will learn from our hard experience.  We don’t want anyone else to lose a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, etc.