The Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation for Postpartum Depression Awareness   

From: maryannamu@home.com
Date: 1/12/02
Time: 3:41:47 PM
Remote Name: 24.4.252.232

Comments

Welcome to The Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation's message board! Please feel free to submit your questions, comments, or experiences with postpartum depression. We hope you find this site and this message board to be a valuable resource.

Mary Anna

From: Helena
Date: 1/14/02
Time: 8:56:14 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.101.157

Comments

Please feel free to contact us through this message board as many times as you need to do so. We are here to help you through an extremely difficult illness.

Although none of us has a medical degree, we do have excellent contacts in the medical community who are willing to help answer questions. We are committed to giving you the best service possible in order for you to get well as quickly as possible.

We do ask that our guests use courteous, non-offensive language. We understand many of you are frustrated beyond words, but we need to protect the integrity of our website for others.

We look forward to hearing from you.

From: Randy B
Date: 1/16/02
Time: 4:14:40 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.28

Comments

There was a time in my life when I felt as though my whole world was falling apart. I had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy five weeks prior and everthing had appeared normal. All of a sudden, these intrusive thoughts started to whirl around in my head. They came from no where. There was no ryhme or reason to them. My heart ached constantly. I was unable to sleep, even when the baby slept. I felt so sad but I couldn't even cry. I felt so alone. I couldn't speak to anybody about what I was going through. This was supposed to be a "happy time" and I felt that I was responsible for what was happening to me. Why couldn't I just snap out of it like many people suggested? Why couldn't I think positive, peaceful thoughts and bring myself out of this dreadful thing? What the heck was wrong with me? I agonized and tried to find answers. I had always thought I was so strong, so together,vivacious, with a great sense of humor. I was not laughing now, infact, I couldn't even smile. I put on a phony face but instead I knew the pain I was feeling, a pain so strong It physically hurt.

Several weeks went by and I became so desperate for help. I was not sleeping at all. I lay in my bed tossing and turning. The days were so long, the nights were even longer. I finally picked up the phone and called my ObGyn. He was absolutley no help. I called a therapist. No help either. And the story goes on and on. I heard ridiculous things like, "You just need to take a nap, have somebody watch the baby" "Maybe your jealous of the baby" "Maybe you weren't ready to have a baby" "Why did you stop breastfeeding" Not once did I here anybody say the words I needed to hear. I had just about given up and I almost took my own life. Finally, I was given a piece of paper from a nurse with a list of numbers to call for support groups for woman suffering from PPD. I finally picked up the phone and I made that first call. I heard the words I so desperately needed to hear, "You are suffering from Post-partum depression, it is a chemical imbalance brought on by the tremendous hormal shift in your body. You are not alone as many woman have experienced exactly what you are going through. Randy, with the proper medical treatment and support, you will get better...I promise you." She gave me the name and number of a therapist/psychiatrist who specialized in PPD. I called right away. I was at their office with in two days and on my way to recovery! I attended support groups and reached out to Moms whenever I needed support(which was often). I made my therapist promise that I would get better, infact, I even made her put in writing. Several weeks after the medication "kicked in" I could feel the depression lifting. I had some amazing days but then I would get hit with a rough day and I would think, "Oh, no is this the illness again" I was reassured that this was normal and my medication was monitored and adjusted appropriately. Soon, those "eh" days were few and far between. I started to really laugh and enjoy my life and my new baby. The love I felt for him was so strong. I know that my experience has strengthened the bond we have and I have grown immensely. I have learned so much about PPD and have realized that it is not a weakness. I am not the same person today. I have grown in ways I never imagined. I realize that I have a special place on this earth, just like everyone of you. If you are suffering with PPD, I would like to give you the gift someone gave me. The following words... "YOU WILL GET BETTER" Hold them close to your heart. Make that phone call and reach out for help. There are people that understand. You are not alone and you will recover. You have a very important place on this earth and there is nobody that could be a better mother to your child than you.

With love and lots of hugs, Randy Berman

P.S. I went on to have a second child, a baby girl-who is now 2 1/2.

From:
Date: 2/7/02
Time: 11:48:58 AM
Remote Name: 24.141.180.239

Comments

Randy- your words today have filled me with such an incredible surge of hope. I am suffering from PPD and currently feel as if I will never be any different. I am scared I have years of parenting to face with no right to them. I feel as if I am a bad mum. Now, I have beeb diagnised with PPD, but ny psychiatrist wrote me two prescriptions, one of which I can't take cause I'm nursing. She said-: wean, call a cousellor, and take some time for you. Call m in trhee weeks. I walked out feeling ripped off and scared that it really is me! Whta should I do now?

From: Randy again
Date: 2/7/02
Time: 10:33:43 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.101.169

Comments

I know how difficult it must be for you right now, you are suffering with this PPD thing and frankly it really stinks. I understand what you are going through because I have been there and I can assure you that PPD is 100% treatable. You need to find the right help that best supports your needs. You felt ripped off after seeing this counsellor because your intuition was right on. Trust it and find someone else, someone who knows about PPD, and how to treat it. Check out the resources at Postpartum Support International and Depression after Delivery. They can put you in touch with other professionals in your area. If you have any questions or need some support you may e-mail me at coachingmoms@aol.com. Regarding weaning, do not stop weaning suddenly. There are some antidepressants that are known to be safe for breastfeeding. If you do decide to wean, check with an experienced PPD professional who will recommend you do it very, very slowly (even if you are not feeding the baby you will still need to pump)

Something else I want to share... When a Mom get's PPD it is not her fault, so it is not your fault.You did nothing wrong. In fact, most often PPD moms are such caring beautiful women with amazing hearts and that is why it hurts so darn much. Just remember that nobody wants to feel better more that you do. If your good friend came to you, and she was suffering with PPD (and this could very well happen because PPD effects approx.15% or more of new Moms), what would you say to her? How could you best support this friend? Maybe you would seek out the best resources and doctors possible to help this good friend in need. People that are experts in the field and who have successfully treated hundreds of Moms. Maybe you would suggest she connect with some of these Moms, who might remind her that she is not alone, and help is a phone call away. Maybe you would assure her that she will recover because you know a Mom (me) who has completely recovered and who has supported many many Moms over the past 8 years, everyone who have completely recovered. Maybe you would tell her to not settle for anything less, and to seek a doctor/therapist who understands and is experienced around PPD. You know in your heart that this friend deserves and is entitled to feel happy and well. You might even give her a great big hug and tell her how much you care. Well, I hope looking at it this way helps. In the meantime, I am sending you out a great big hug, from me and every mom who has been there. Take care of you and ask for help, you deserve it.

Love, Randy

From: Rachel
Date: 2/8/02
Time: 4:36:43 AM
Remote Name: 195.92.168.169

Comments

I am a mother of a 15 month old baby boy, Dylan. When he was born I suffered major hallucinations and delusions but I couldnt tell anyone, I tried to tell my partner that when I look at the wall paper I feel like Im "Tripping" (as I had previously dabbled with drugs when I was younger) But my boyfriend just ignored me, I begged him not to leave me on my own and screamed for him to help me but he just thought I was mad and slept on the sofa. I tried to explain to my friend who came back from uni at christmas that I thought Dylan was "Evil" but he told me all mothers thing that at it will be ok. So I battled on thinking this is what mothers go through. Eventually I was diagnosed with PND then after I told the whole truth I was diagnosed with PND with Psychosis. Im now off my anti psychotic medication but I feel Im scarred for life, I still get so angry that I begged for help and my partner did nothing but ignore me. Hed say things like "If you go to the doctors, your admitting there is a problem, so dont go" & "you dont need tablets, its all in your head". Weve split up a couple of weeks ago, but all though my illness he never once put his arm round me, he just used to leave me sobbing on my own. I forgot about it for a while but now a dear friend of mine has been diagnosed with PND and its brought it all back because her partner and parents are saying the same things. Is there a chance I have Post traumatic stress from all this? Will I ever be able to forgive my partner and my friend for not supporting me and getting me help sooner. Dylan was 4 1/2 months old before I got any treatment, and that whole time was just a living nightmare. It was the Health visitor that began to notice I was acting strange. When Dylan was 4 weeks old, I went to the Doctors and told her I couldnt cope, but she put it down to relationship difficulties. If shed have diagnosed me then I could of been saved from the sheer hell that was to come. Will I ever be able to let this go and realise that its such a taboo subject that people dont know what to do or say? My email address is rachel.holliday@talk21.com If anyone has a similar story to me. I just read about all these people that had such supportive partners who were desperate to try and help their partners and I feel I was more alone than most. I feel better for letting all this out, I just hope one day Ill get over it.

From: Helena
Date: 2/8/02
Time: 3:33:33 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.198.44

Comments

Hey! I'm so sorry you are battling PPD. We are all pulling for you and want you to know we totally support you.

I really don't have a lot to add to Randy's message; I thought it was excellent, but just wanted you to know many folks are out there in your corner. Please don't hesitate to come back to this website as often as we can help you! None of us is experts; however, we promise to try to find answers to your questions if we don't have them for you. Remember, YOU ARE GOING TO GET WELL AND HAVE A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN! We love you!

From: Helena
Date: 2/8/02
Time: 3:45:17 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.198.44

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Hey, Rachel

I am emailing you a response to your message. My name is Helena. So sorry you have been TWICE a victim -- once of postpartum depression and once of society's ignorance of a very serious illness which resulted in your being treated like a second-class citizen. That's exactly why some of Ruth's friends and I started this Foundation.

Please feel free to email me directly or post messages on this website as often as you like.

We love you and want you well as quickly as possible.

Love, Helena

From: johannah
Date: 2/14/02
Time: 4:48:31 PM
Remote Name: 213.122.38.173

Comments

Dear rachel, you sound like you are now recovering really well because you are all fired up which is really reat for you and your son , very few people especially men understand pnd and your partners reaction is really common they just can't get to gripe with it i had pnd and unsopportive husband i am now recovered and we are still together , it was hard but don't think that all men are unsympathetic because they are'nt.If you need to talk just e-mail me at higleyjohannah@hotmail.co.uk

From: Rebecca
Date: 2/16/02
Time: 1:28:32 AM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.119

Comments

I am 5 months along in my 6th pregnancy (4 kids, 1 miscariage). I have suffered PPD with all my births (3 c-sections, 1 VBAC). I am usually "up" during my pregnancies but this time I have been severely depressed. My husband said "it seems like PPD right now instead of after." I had to agree. I spoke with my OB and he was very concerned . I had been on Prozac before I became pregnant & went off immediately when I suspected I was pregnant. It seems that probably contributed to the severity of depression. Anyway, I am back on medication & plan to stay on it for quite some time. This is hard to accept; my mother is manic-depressive (bipolar) & our family tree is loaded with mental illness. I so want to be different and want things to be different for my daughter as well. Thanks for your website. I am so sorry for your heartache & tragedy. You are turning it into a positive. Bless you.

From: Helena
Date: 2/16/02
Time: 12:47:58 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.195.209

Comments

Hey, Rebecca What a beautiful name! It was also my grandmother's name -- Helena Rebecca.

I'm so sorry you are once again experiencing PPD symptoms -- yes, that's exactly what is going on right now. My understanding is PPD tends to worsen with each pregnancy, so please stay on your medication!

Neither my daughter nor I ever had any problems with depression before Ruth experienced PPD, but I'm learning a lot from friends who are bipolar. One in particular made the remark, after someone else voiced the same thing you did about wanting to be different and not have to take medication, that she was so thankful there was medication available to treat it! And, as you know, there is nothing you can do about family history; however, thank God there is a multitude of medication available that works well.

Thank you so much for visiting our website and for your kind words. Please come back any time and let us know what we can do to help you.

Take good care of yourself because you are the most precious thing in the world to your family!!!

Love, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 2/16/02
Time: 12:48:58 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.195.209

Comments

Hey, Rebecca What a beautiful name! It was also my grandmother's name -- Helena Rebecca.

I'm so sorry you are once again experiencing PPD symptoms -- yes, that's exactly what is going on right now. My understanding is PPD tends to worsen with each pregnancy, so please stay on your medication!

Neither my daughter nor I ever had any problems with depression before Ruth experienced PPD, but I'm learning a lot from friends who are bipolar. One in particular made the remark, after someone else voiced the same thing you did about wanting to be different and not have to take medication, that she was so thankful there was medication available to treat it! And, as you know, there is nothing you can do about family history; however, thank God there is a multitude of medication available that works well.

Thank you so much for visiting our website and for your kind words. Please come back any time and let us know what we can do to help you.

Take good care of yourself because you are the most precious thing in the world to your family!!!

Love, Helena

From: Joan Henderson
Date: 3/12/02
Time: 9:38:28 PM
Remote Name: 66.41.82.24

Comments

i am devastated to outraged regarding the Andrea Yates trial. I need to talk to some enlightened people who can help me deal with my feelings. I had postpartum depression 32 years ago & had no support.....i believe my children were at risk due to lack of education/understanding on my part, the medical profession treating me w/drugs & a husband who was ashamed to embarassed by my emotional outbursts. I would very much like to do something for this woman. Please offer any suggestions to what i can do for her. My outrage is also towards the medical profession as well as the legal system.....i also need help in how to deal with my feelings towards her husband. Thank you. sincerely, joan Henderson shender@attbi.com 651-430-0940 2665 Oriole Ave. Stillwater, MN 55082

From: Helena
Date: 3/13/02
Time: 1:37:54 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.102.174

Comments

Hey, Joan

I, too, am extremely angry and disappointed, although not very surprised at the result of Andrea's trial. My first reaction was to pray for her and her family. Yes, even including her husband. I totally agree that he had a large part to play in her tragedy, as did her physicians, but I still can't imagine the hell he is living here on earth as a result. Of course, it pales as compared to hers!

I'm not sure what I can tell you to help you, though. My gut feeling is a trained counselor and your pastor could help you a lot more. I sense you're having some real problems with forgiveness, and that is completely understandable given what you have experienced.

The one thing I do want to emphasize to you is, it is important that you never forget that you had nothing to do with causing your illness, nor with the lack of support you received, nor with the inept medical treatment you received. So, if you have had a tendency to do so, don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself because, under the best circumstances, postpartum depression does devastating things to you, your mind and your personality. And that's not your fault! With poor treatment and little support, PPD is pure torture and leaves very deep scars. That's why I would urge you to seek some professional counseling, preferably with someone who is familiar with the intricacies of PPD.

As far as what you can do for Andrea, I'm not sure. Two possibilities come to mind: (1) Pray for her daily (2) On the Postpartum Support International website (www.postpartum.net), you will find an address where you could write her a letter of support and encouragement. I think it's her attorney's address.

I'm not sure whether I have adequately addressed all your concerns, Joan, so please feel free to email me at BuzerHel@aol.com if I can assist you further.

I'm so sorry you've had such a bad experience, but hopefully the new awareness of PPD will provide you with some resources to help you that weren't there 34 years ago when you needed them so desperately.

The good news is you DID survive and so did your children. That's a tremendous amount for which to be thankful. It could have turned out so much worse. I know it's hard, but try to focus on the fact that you've all been spared, and you've been spared for a reason.

Please feel free to contact us any time and as often you like!

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: Elaine Earl
Date: 3/13/02
Time: 4:46:45 PM
Remote Name: 128.23.153.88

Comments

Dear Mrs. Henderson,

Thank you for your outrage! Feelings are very powerful – it was our feelings that led us to start this foundation. The more we get mad and the more women that join us, maybe we can do something to change the stigma that new mothers feel and how the medical community treats postpartum depression. I, too, am saddened thinking of what Mrs. Yates will go thru and I wish her husband could be chained to her side thru the whole thing! I think that Helena’s idea of writing a letter to her attorney is a great one – at least she will know that there are women who have their hearts aching for her, and wish there was something more we could do.

Elaine Earl, Charleston, SC

From: Jessica Banas
Date: 3/17/02
Time: 4:53:09 PM
Remote Name: 12.233.165.21

Comments

I just saw the photos of Ruth. *sigh* What a beauty! Thank you for letting me know they were posted. Blessings to you and the foundation my dear friend! Love and Hugs, Jess GOD does not make mistakes....He makes miracles!!!!

From: Helena
Date: 3/18/02
Time: 12:54:09 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.107.32

Comments

Hey, Jess I can always count on your for mega support. Thank you so much. There are three of us in the Foundation, and it takes all three to keep up! Mary Anna is the website creator; Elaine is the idea lady; and I'm the mouth! Love you, Helena

From: Melanie Robinson
Date: 3/20/02
Time: 12:28:31 AM
Remote Name: 63.127.61.24

Comments

Hi Helena! Just wanted to stop in to enjoy your website and your additions of Ruth's photos. She is beautiful and I am so thankful for all your work at postpartum support group online and your continued e-mails to keep me informed. I'm busy doing everything I can to keep the public and mainly any women possibly suffering from postpartum illness to have the support they need in my neck of the woods. Love, Melanie

From: Helena
Date: 3/20/02
Time: 1:02:46 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.192.51

Comments

Hey, Melanie

Good to hear from you again. I see you are as much a night owl as I am!

Thank you for your kind words and thank you for all your work in your corner of our world. After recent events, we certainly have our work cut out for us, don't we? But at least the awareness is becoming greater and I can see more interest being taken in PPD within the medical community.

A medical friend of mine who works at The Medical University of South Carolina and who is initiating the use of PPD screening at MUSC, recently told me that in her research she has learned that PPD affects MORE pregnant women than ALL THREE of the leading pregnancy complications put together that are currently addressed by OBGYN's. So please tell me why it has been ignored for so long?????? Oh well, the good news is maybe this is the beginning of some serious prenatal/PPD treatment changes and greater interest in more research. Let's pray so!

Take care and keep up the good work!

Love, Helena

From: Rebecca
Date: 3/22/02
Time: 1:14:09 AM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.34

Comments

Thank you for posting the photos. I imagine it is difficult and healing at the same time. My OB Dr. has been very supportive in treating my PPD during pregnancy. I wish I would have had the courage several years ago to be honest about my struggles. Thank you so much for your work - it is bearing fruit. Blessings. Rebecca

From: Helena
Date: 3/23/02
Time: 1:07:51 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.199.151

Comments

Hey,Rebecca

Thank you so much for your encouraging message. You're right, sharing my experience and my daughter with everyone is both difficult (at times) and healing. But thank God I have this avenue to try to make some sense out of a totally senseless death. The Foundation and folks like you have literally been my salvation from deep, deep despair. I still have times when I think I'll never be able to continue without Ruth, but those times are few and fair between. Meeting special people like you and countless others has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I also have a son whom I love dearly and who makes life worth living.

Please let us know if we can ever help you in any way.

God loves you, and so do I. Helena

From: Tonya Rosenberg
Date: 3/31/02
Time: 11:33:36 AM
Remote Name: 12.230.81.67

Comments

I just want to thank everyone that has taken something so difficult and made it into a wonderful opportunity to help others. When you lost Ruth, you could have simply become angry and do nothing with that energy. Instead, you chose to honor her memory by spreading the word about postpartum mood disorders, and you've probably saved a lot of lives by choosing this path. Bless you all.

Tonya Rosenberg

From: Helena
Date: 3/31/02
Time: 6:28:56 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.207.211

Comments

Thank you so much, Tonya, for your kind words of encouragement. We all need them.

As devastating as losing Ruth was to all of us, to hear how much our help and support has helped women suffering from PPD keeps her death from being totally in vein. She would appreciate your support as much as we do.

Love, Helena

From: Mary Anna
Date: 4/11/02
Time: 7:04:08 PM
Remote Name: 68.59.21.95

Comments

I heard on the news this morning that Andrea Yates' family is considering suing her psychiatrist for not treating her properly (thus leading to the drowning of her children).

Any thoughts?

From: Maria
Date: 4/19/02
Time: 2:02:06 PM
Remote Name: 216.68.129.210

Comments

They should sue the dr. that took her off Halidol, if you followed the case that seemed to be when she really went over the edge. His mother and her husband should be on trial as well, they left those kids along with a women they called in interviews "unable to care for herself, like a grown child" yet they walked out the door and left her alone with the children.

From: Helena
Date: 4/19/02
Time: 11:12:20 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.204.69

Comments

Thanks, Maria, for your comments regarding the lawsuit issue. I fully agree that Andrea's psychiatrist should be held accountable for his poor judgment in taking her off her medication.

Now, I have a question. Should psychiatrists' practices provide treatment coverage for their patients over the week ends? I don't know of any other doctor who doesn't have some sort of "on call" provision for week end treatment of their patients, but my experience has been with psychiatric treatment their patients who call on Fridays in suicidal distress are told to either make an appointment for Monday or go to the ER. I, personally, have a problem with that.

Any comments?

From: Michelle
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 12:28:33 PM
Remote Name: 66.207.6.157

Comments

Can someone out there posibly give me some advice here because I am deperate for some answers to what is going on with me. I had a baby last September and the last month or two have been so different for me. I seem to want to sleep a lot more. I sometimes want to just eat all the time, and other times don't care if I eat anything. I cry a lot, and feel so sad. I have had feelings of doing harm to myself, and have even had thoughts of suicide. Sometimes I have so many feelings inside my head I can't even think straight. I get a lot of chest pains, and anxiety attacks. I also have a daughter who is 8, and I love my girls so much. I am afraid of what is going on here and of what I might do in a moment where I feel no control. Has anyone out there felt like this, and if so, please write back.

From: Helena
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 3:50:20 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.104.163

Comments

Hey, Michelle

Please go for help immediately! Check with your doctor -- OBGYN, pediatrician, general practitioner, if one of them is experienced in treating postpartum depression -- and if they don't have any suggestions you feel comfortable with, locate a psychiatrist or other doctor who is knowledgeable about PPD because that's what it sounds like you're experiencing.

If you have even one more suicidal thought and cannot find a doctor to see you today, go to the emergency room closest to you.

What I think is happening is your hormones are out of balance since having your baby and this imbalance is affecting the ability of your brain to function normally. You are NOT crazy and you WILL NOT feel like this the rest of your life! PPD is a totally treatable illness, but you must get treatment today. It is imperative that you get on some medication that will help your brain function more normally. And if you're breastfeeding, there are medications you can take and still breastfeed.

Please call me immediately at 843 881-2047 if you cannot find help today. And if you just don't have the energy to search for help, get someone else to do it for you. There is help out there.

If you'll give me your email address, I'll send you a lot more information about where to go for additional supportive help.

Please get back to me either through email (BuzerHel@aol.com), here at the message board or calling me as soon as possible, Michelle. We love you and are here to help you through this! I'll put you in touch with some other women who have felt the same way you are feeling and are now recovered and functioning like their old selves.

God loves you, Michelle, and so do I. Helena

You are a good person, a good mom and you will get well with proper treatment!!

From: Mary Anna
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 4:09:43 PM
Remote Name: 216.235.192.10

Comments

I can't agree with Helena more. Call your doctor right away and MAKE them listen to you. Sometimes medical professionals that we talk to about these issues may downplay or make us think our feelings are "normal". If you feel you are getting that type of response, call someone else!

Tell your doctor everything you are feeling so they can get you the help you need right away!

From: Helena
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 9:38:31 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.207.62

Comments

Hey, Karen

I'm sorry, but I don't know anyone who is up on treating PPD in the Washington area; however, if you will go to www.postpartum.net (sorry, I can't create a link)to the Postpartum Support International (PSI) website, they have a list of folks in various parts of the country who are knowledgeable in treating/assisting with PPD problems. I'm not sure you can find it directly on their website; you may have to email Jane Honikman whose email address is on the web. If you have any problems with this, please let me know.

Sometime in the near future, I hope we will have a physician referral page on our website provided by women who have received successful treatment and are very pleased with the care they received from their doctor.

Please, if we can be of any further assistance to you, do not hesitate to let us know.

Love, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 4/25/02
Time: 9:50:46 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.49

Comments

Hey, Michelle

I'm concerned about you. When you have a minute, would you let me know how you're doing?

I'm praying you will find a doctor, quickly, who can help you. Please don't give up.

Another avenue of help is to go to www.ppdsupportpage.com which is an online PPD support group. I'm not sure whether I gave you that link yesterday or not. You will find lots of moms with similar experiences to yours as well as some ladies who are pretty knowledgeable about PPD who will be happy to answer your questions and give you lots of encouragement and support.

Please let us know how we can help you. You ARE going to get well!

Love, Helena

From: KarenV
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 5:03:23 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.196.53

Comments

Hi friends, My sister is about to have her second child and after the birth of the first one she had ppd/anxiety/ very exterme case. She lives in the Washington DC area and is having trouble finding anyone with a proactive approach to treating it. The next baby is due mid June and she is looking to find some help. Any suggestions? Thanks, Karen

From: Rebecca
Date: 4/28/02
Time: 8:13:17 PM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.34

Comments

Hi - please don't give up, Michelle. There is help and hope out there. I have had PPD after all of my babies (4) and have had it during this pregnancy (due 6/26/02). Those hormones can really get out of kilter and make you feel all sorts of things. Please don't be afraid to get help - there is nothing to hide or be ashamed about. To all, I read Marie Osmond's book "Behind The Smile" about her journey out of PPD. It is excellent! I highly recommend it.

From: Helena
Date: 4/28/02
Time: 11:11:26 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.103.162

Comments

Hey, Michelle

I'm worried about you since we haven't heard from you. Please take a minute to let all of us know you're okay. As you can see, you have quite a few people who care about you and are pulling for you.

We love you, Michelle, and wish you well! Helena

From: Rebecca
Date: 5/8/02
Time: 11:31:59 PM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.34

Comments

I went to the Dr. yesterday - I had gained 10 lbs. in 1 month and measured way ahead of my due date. My BP is up slightly but no swelling. Dr. scheduled me for a level 2 ultrasound next week. I am worried . Also, Dear Hubby had a nuclear stress test today after an abnormal stress test for his heart a week ago. We are major league stressed! I am trying not to get too down. Please pray for us. Thanks. Rebecca, Cola. SC EDD:6/26/02 p.s. I am still taking my meds :>)

From: Helena
Date: 5/9/02
Time: 12:02:27 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.192.166

Comments

Hey, Rebecca

I just said a prayer and will continue to do so. Would you like me to put you and your family on our S.C. Via de Cristo prayer chain that covers the entire state and some of N.C. and Ga. as well?

Please let us help you in any way we can. If you are up to the trip, I urge you to take advantage of the PPD support groups we offer here in Charleston. We have a very special group of super-caring ladies who would love to give you the support and care you need right now. I cannot tell you how beneficial PPD support groups are. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't take Ruth up to Raleigh, NC where they have an excellent group. At that time, it was the closest one to Lexington, SC.

Our groups meet every 1st and 3rd Thursdays in the month from 7:00 - 8:30 p.m. and every 3rd Saturday morning at 10:30 a.m. For more detailed information on the groups, please check out that section of this website.

Please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com and/or call me at 843 881-2047 so I can give you more detailed information.

We were almost in Columbia today! Ruth's husband, Joey, and his new wife just had a baby girl yesterday afternoon, and we were going up to see them. We got as far as Holly Hill and had to turn back because of all the smoke from the forest fires in Ga. Both my husband and I have some rather severe respiratory problems and couldn't handle the smoke. We have other family in the Columbia area, too, so we are in the area fairly frequently. I would be happy to come meet you as soon as possible if you would like that (after the smoke clears!).

Please let us know how we can help you and your husband get through this. And you WILL get through it.

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: RC
Date: 5/20/02
Time: 3:29:23 PM
Remote Name: 12.6.145.17

Comments

Hi Karen,

I live in the Washington DC area as well and I have an excellent psychiatrist. He is in Old Town Alexandria. He has treated me several times for various problems (including PPD) and he is the best doctor I have ever had. Some of them are very incompetent (judging from my own personal experiences) and sometimes you really have to search around before you can find something/somebody who can help you in the right way for YOU. I really think my doctor could help your sister. He is a little expensive (probably about $250 for the initial consultation and then $100 for each medication management session) but when it comes to somebody's well being you can't really affix the price tag. I urge you to tell your sister about this doctor. His name is Dr. Michael Hertzberg 703 548 3384. Unfortuately, I did not attend any support groups so I don't know of any to recommend, but the Washington DC area is so large (obviously) that there should be lots of groups--it's just a matter of finding them.

Good luck to your sister

RC

From: Tami
Date: 5/26/02
Time: 11:00:19 PM
Remote Name: 209.105.50.52

Comments

I had my daughter almost 3 years ago. She is our only child. I have been having a difficult time from the beginning. Although I returned from the hospital very anemic (hemoglobin barely 6), and my daughter was very demanding (breast-feeding every 2 hours and ate for nearly 45min-hour- 24 hours a day and cried whenever she wasn't eating) and became very colicky, and did not sleep through the night greater than 5 hours straight until she was 5 months old, I feel that I am now just beginning to slowly recover. I have been seeing a naturopath doctor who has prescribed to me many supplements, dietary changes, etc. and I am now feeling better than I have since I had my daughter. I have been offered anti-depressants, but I feel that this is not depression. My naturoipath also feels that this is not depression. I have problems with sleeping, low energy, and a decreased interest in past activities I use to find enjoyable- and absolutely NO sex drive. I feel this is hormonal. I'm going to be 38 this summer and I truly feel that this is a peri-menopausal situation that may have been triggered by all of the hormonal fluctuations related to pregnancy, post-partum period, the stress and intense demands from my daughter as my body slowly tried to recover from a traumatic birth, and the extended period that I breast-fed (15 months). Any comments? Could this possibly be PPD? Still? Or... is PPD truly a depression that is short-lived? Thanks!

From: Helena
Date: 5/27/02
Time: 1:16:05 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.32

Comments

Hey, Tami

The symptoms you describe are classic PPD symptoms. Also, the problems you experienced during birth and after are contributing factors (risk factors) to triggering PPD. Since I'm not a doctor, I'm not sure what else may be going on, but you are absolutely correct that this is a hormonal thing and you could be experiencing some pre-menopausal problems along with PPD.

I have some major chemical problems from being chemically poisoned, and a holistic chiropractor helped me beyond belief; however, I know of no one who has been treated through herbs, etc. for PPD so I don't feel comfortable addressing that. I do know that the large variety of psychotropic drugs (and I hate drugs!) available today have been extremely successful in treating PPD. I also know that if it is not properly treated, it (or some type of depression) can continue for years. There are those who feel if the depression lasts longer than a year or so, it then becomes some other type of depression. Whatever the name, the results are the same -- suffering. You can be helped -- you don't need to continue suffering.

I know of a classic example of untreated PPD I can share with you. This mother experienced PPD after her first child almost 12 years ago and was afraid to tell anyone about it because she really didn't know she had PPD. She just thought there was some quirk in her makeup that made her not want to have anything to do with her baby. She recently became pregnant again and was terrified she would go through the same misery she did previously and that there would be no way she could love this baby. She even considered abortion and adoption.

Well, the mom finally told someone about her PPD and was immediately placed on medication while she was pregnant since she had begun experiencing PPD symptoms during pregnancy. After about a month, she began feeling much better. The baby was born earlier this month; she adores her and is even enjoying breastfeeding -- something she never thought she would be able to bring herself to do, much less enjoy it.

I hope this information has been helpful to you. If you would like to email me your address, I would be happy to mail some more detailed PPD information to you.

Please feel free to come back to this message board as often as you like and/or email me at BuzerHel@aol.com any time.

Postpartum depression is totally treatable. You don't have to suffer. Whether you are actually still experiencing PPD or some other form of depression, it is all treatable.

Love you, and praying for your complete recovery, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 5/27/02
Time: 1:18:41 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.32

Comments

We have recently created a prayer chain for PPD sufferers and their families. If you would like to be added to the list of folks for whom we are praying, please contact me through this message board or at BuzerHel@aol.com.

From: Lorena
Date: 8/1/02
Time: 1:12:20 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.165

Comments

Hi Helena, thanks for this forum and the website. I'm the mother of 3 and although none of us realized it, I had PPD and Post Partum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder after the birth of my first baby. It went untreated for almost 3 long years. During that time I had our second child and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (which contributes greatly to depression) when everything went to you-know-where-.

Just as I was realizing something was dreadfully wrong, I wanted to die and hurt my children, I reached out for help. It took almost a full year and two hospitalizations for me to find the right doctors who would help me.

During that time, I found out that I was expecting our third baby. The doctors told me that due to problems in stablizing my thyroid, my body wasn't making enough estrogen to ovulate. They were wrong. I take comfort in that God REALLY wanted this baby to be here, but the pregnancy for the first 4-5 months was a nightmare.

Anyway, I started with the SSRI's (in November), weekly visits with a therapist and bi monthly visits with the psych. doctor. Clouds began lifting...I began smiling again, even feeling normal..

It's been almost 6 weeks after the birth of our third baby and while I have days that are good, I feel like I'm slipping back into the depression. I meet with my doctors and they keep telling me that I'm so much better than when we started treatment. And they are right. But I feel so overwhelmed, I don't want to be around my kids, I want to just get away. I get scared when I get angry with the two "older" ones, because there is so much rage and fustration. I find myself wanting to hurt them because I'm so fed up. But then I realize they're just babies themselves and get so mad at myself for even feeling this way.

It seems that just as the PPD started wearing off, I gave birth and now it's making its insidious way back into my life. The negativity is back, the wanting to sleep all morning long is back, the feelings of being so overwhelmed that just makes me cry..mixed with a few good days here and there where I feel energetic and like I can do anything are leaving me so confused.

I'm taking the drugs, my mom and husband are helping with the kids, I'm getting the therapy, so why do I still feel this way?

From: Helena
Date: 8/1/02
Time: 11:52:44 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.15

Comments

Wow, Lorena. I'm so sorry you are having so much difficulty with PPD. It can be a real bear to shake, but it is treatable and it is temporary so hold on!

Was your dosage increased when your new baby was born? Are you participating in a support group? Are your doctors experienced in treating PPD? What about your thyroid now? Is that under control? Have you tried different drugs or have you been on the same one or ones all this time?

Thank God for the support you are receiving from your husband and mom! Do not hesitate to accept help from them and anyone else who is willing to give it, Lorena. You are not a bad person or a bad mom. You are working through a very serious illness and will have plenty of time to "give back to them" once you are well, so please accept the help you need right now.

I'd love to talk with you more, so please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com and let's see how we can help you get through this difficult time in your life.

Would you like me to add you to our PPD prayer chain?

If you are not a member of a support group, I highly recommend joining one. The benefits are invaluable. There, you can talk with women who have been where you are and have survived. That's pretty powerful and extremely reassuring! If you're not sure whether there is a group near you, Postpartum Support International at www.postpartum.net has a list of groups all over the country and would be happy to tell you if there is a group near you.

Do you live in South Carolina? If so, please consider coming to our group in Charleston. If you'll email me, I'll give you more detailed information about that.

The only other suggestion I can make right now is to make sure your doctors are very savy about PPD; unfortunately, most doctors are not. There are lots of drugs out there that help with PPD, but everyone is different and so is each case of PPD so sometimes it can take some time finding the right combination for your specific body. Please, Lorena, do not give up the fight. Your family and your children love you dearly and need you desperately. We, at this website, also love you and want you to get well as quickly as possible. Just keep reaching out for help wherever you can find it, and know that you ARE GOING TO GET WELL!

Another website I highly recommend is www.ppdsupportpage.com. This is an online PPD support website and has lots of caring people who are knowledgeable about PPD. There are many women who have suffered from PPD and also those who are currently suffering from it. There are also some counselors/therapists who participate in the "Ask the Expert" forum on that website.

Another VERY important thing is to get as much rest as possible and stay a stress free as possible.

Please email me tomorrow and let me know how you're doing, Lorena.

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: One more thing, Lorena
Date: 8/2/02
Time: 12:26:26 AM
Remote Name: 152.163.188.168

Comments

Hey, Lorena

I'm sure you know this, but just to be on the safe side I thought I'd remind you to make sure you are not alone with the children when you are feeling so badly. I'm sure it's tough to keep all the bases covered with three children, but just keep remembering THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY even though it feels like it's permanent. It's NOT permanent and the inconveniences you and your family might have to endure right now will be worth their weight in gold once you are well. Your family will be in tact and you will be back to your normal self again.

As bad as things seem now, they could be worse. Please take whatever measures are necessary to ensure your safety and the safety of your children until you are well again. You are all very precious!!

Love you lots! Helena

From: Helena
Date: 8/2/02
Time: 10:19:27 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.165

Comments

Hey, Lorena

We seem to be experiencing some difficulties with our website. I read your message last night and wrote two messages back to you. By some slim chance, did you happen to receive them? If you get this message, please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com and let me know how you're doing today.

If I don't hear from you today, I'll post another message tonight, but the bottom line is we are here for you to help you in any way we can; PPD is totally treatable and is temporary. Please hang in there until you can find the right drug combination that will work for you.

Also, please make sure you are not alone with your children while you're feeling so badly. Thank God for the good help and support from your mom and husband!

I highly recommend becoming involved in a PPD support group if there is one near you. Check with Postpartum Support International (if you do not live in or near South Carolina and cannot attend ours) at www.postpartum.net to see if any support groups are located near you.

Also, www.ppdsupportpage.com is an excellent online PPD support group. There are women who are very knowledgeable about PPD, women who have suffered from it and those who are now suffering from it and there are also some therapists who answer questions on the "Ask the Expert" forum. Go to the top of the home page and click on "Forums". On second page, drop down a little and you will see "Ask the Expert".

Would you like us to put you on our PPD prayer chain? I'm already praying for you and your family now, but we have about 40 people who have volunteered to pray for women suffering from PPD, which is pretty awesome.

You're going to get through this and get well, Lorena! Please keep in touch with us and the online support group until you can find a group near you.

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: Emily B.
Date: 8/11/02
Time: 12:36:35 AM
Remote Name: 206.148.44.117

Comments

Hi, who ever is outhere this late at night. Well, here I am again, trying to find some solutions, knowing already what an incredible life change having a baby is, I don't know if I actually depressed or just ovwewhelmed, please give me some guidance on what to do. I have an anxiety disorder and i want to tell everybody how good i did all throughout my tuff pregnancy and birth. But then things got complicated, my son was 3 weeks premature and had to stay in the nursery for 5 days with a lot of tubes and a breathing machine and i just couldn't stop crying. Then i cryed so much the day we had to leave to go home. I just couldn't believe they really let me go home with such a defenseless tinny little one, so i guess i cryed a lot because i was scared, i didn't know how to handle everything that was going on and i think my chilhood imaturity whatever it's called these days really ended there because now there's no more room for mistakes, for being irresponsable, for not caring for this or that, no excuses, no delegating, no waitng for mommmy to come and solve it for you, just you, your husband and a crying baby. So, 3 months have passed now and we're still as sleep deprived as in the beggining, my mother already went back to her home, she has a life too, everybody else has a life, you know, Paul and I still don't know very well how to take care of our precious beautiful baby and have some kind of a normal life back again. The house is a mess, it will probably stay like that for years, we even missed work occasionally because we needed to sleep, the hospital bills keep piling up, because we only found out later, too late, that 100% coverage hardly ever means what it is commonly thought to mean, and my son is beautiful at 3 months, almost 16 pounds, i still breastfeed him whenever he needs me, sometimes he stays with his grandmother because we bought a pump and i pump milk for him, and the babysitter expenses are leaving us broke, there's no more savings in what used to be our savings account, now school will start again and i don't even know if i won't sleep in class or if i'll be able to cope, after all, it's been a while, i never had such an incredible year, i spent months in rest, i'm still tired and ironically full of hope. I repeat to myself all the time, hey, you can do this, but then the baby wakes up again and cryes and all i want to do, my last birthday wish, was to sleep through an entire night. So, is there anyone outhere in the some circunstances? I bet there is! Please contact me, my email is mimirouge@hotmail.com

From: Maria
Date: 8/20/02
Time: 10:22:29 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.201.79

Comments

I suffered from a severe PPD after the birth of my first child. I required two weeks of hospitalization. All I remember saying was that what was happening to me was just not me, but some how I could not get out of it. I needed help desperately and thank goodness I fell into the hands of a good psychiatrist. I am happy to say that with the right medication and good therapy my first child is already 5 and my second is now 6 months! I am doing very well. Similar to any illness, there are some good days and bad, but it is being treated and it definitely is manageable.

From: Mandy
Date: 9/10/02
Time: 3:53:16 PM
Remote Name: 64.33.187.32

Comments

I was recently found to have PPD,and my baby is all most 6months old. From the day we came home from the hospital I was cleaning and always on the go. I could not even sit down to watch tv,I was very crabby all the time. I had the night sweats,and could not sleep at night.Finally this affected everyone that was in my house. And I could not do it anymore. Iam taking Zoloft 50mg a day, and it's only been 7 days but I already feel better! I can sit and relax at least for 20 minutes. PLEASE contact me if you are feeling the same way or have been through this gtm31@hotmail.com

From: Helena
Date: 9/11/02
Time: 1:37:35 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.170

Comments

Hey, Mandy

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. It's great to hear PPD success stories. Just in case you are not aware, however, PPD has a habit of coming and going so don't panic if your symptoms come back from time to time. Just keep in close touch with your doctor and above all, take your medication exactly as prescribed. That's really important. Feel free to email me anytime at the email address for the foundation. I'd love to hear from you.

I'm so happy to hear you're feeling so much better. God willing, you've caught your illness in time and you're over the worst! That's why we encourage women to be treated as soon as they suspect they may be suffering from postpartum depression. The earlier it's treated, the less severe it seems to be and the sooner recovery can take place.

God bless you, Mandy.

Love, Helena

From: Andie
Date: 9/16/02
Time: 12:19:47 AM
Remote Name: 216.221.81.97

Comments

I am a breastfeeding mamma of a 9 month old with PPD and no family doctor, what can I do? Are there all natural treatment methods available?

From: Helena
Date: 9/16/02
Time: 12:30:50 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.205

Comments

Hey, Andie

I'm so sorry you're dealing with PPD, but you will get well! Can I get you to email me at BuzerHel@aol.com so I can email you in greater detail than I can place on this message board?

If you are willing to tell me where you live, I may be able to help you find a doctor in your area who knows how to treat PPD or I may be able to give you someone's name who can help you find good medical help for PPD.

I'm sorry, but I don't know of any natural treatments I would trust. PPD is thought to be caused by mega doses of hormones in your body at the time of birth that, for some unknown reason, do not level back off to normal after birth. These mega doses of hormones effect the way think and feel, making you feel like you're going crazy, that you're a bad mom, that you cannot function well in the simplist daily tasks, etc. The best, most effective treatment I know of is through medication to help level off these hormones.

I sympathize with your wanting to breastfeed your baby, but the baby has had a wonderful, healthy start in life with 9 months of breastfeeding. It is most important that you take care of yourself now -- which in turn is also taking the best possible care of your baby.

I'd like to give you more information and helpful websites to visit, so please email me the first chance you get.

We will help you in any way we possibly can, Andi. There is help out there. Just hang in there.

PPD is totally treatable and is TEMPORARY! I promise, it is -- even though it may not feel like it right now.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Love you! Helena

From: Helena
Date: 9/16/02
Time: 12:33:07 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.170

Comments

Hey, Andi

One other suggestion is to contact your pediatrician. Lots of times either the pediatrician or his/her nurse will pick up on PPD and will be able to find help for you.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love, Helena

From: RC
Date: 9/17/02
Time: 3:43:13 PM
Remote Name: 12.6.145.17

Comments

Hi Helena,

That was a good suggestion, but some pediatricians are totally clueless. Mine told me to "calm down." My suggestion is, if you think you need help and someone is not listening, then keep talking to people until you find someone who does listen. I think it's a disgrace how many medical providers out there are uninformed about PPD.

From: Helena
Date: 9/17/02
Time: 9:50:03 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.208.138

Comments

Hey, RC

Thanks for taking my suggestion one step further. Good point! And, yes, unfortunately most of the medical community is clueless about PPD. But the good news is this is changing little by little. It's going to take every recovered PPD sufferer and every family member who has been touched by PPD to keep talking to everyone they know to promote awareness and more education/research in PPD. Please come back and talk with us again!

Love, Helena

From: Lorena
Date: 9/18/02
Time: 8:51:38 PM
Remote Name: 68.48.234.17

Comments

Hi Andie, I'm not sure how much more information you've gotten since you posted your email, but I wanted to let you know that there are several medications you can take that treat PPD while you are nursing. It's something to talk over with your doctor. Also, never ever ever feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Even if that means not being able to nurse your baby. I have been in your shoes and had I known then what I know now about PPD and nursing, I would have weaned them so that I could get better faster and then they could have their HAPPY, interactive mother back. Babies sense from their mommies when something isn't right and it affects them. My third baby never nursed and he's that happiest, easy going baby I've had. Don't be afraid to take care of yourself!!!

From: Jessica
Date: 9/25/02
Time: 4:07:20 AM
Remote Name: 67.216.147.211

Comments

My name is Jessica. I am currently attempting to heal a very traumatic and difficult relationship with my baby's father. I have been through extensive therapy and am currently on Effexor for my PPD. Luckily, I have made it through the most difficult patch of my suffering, but still find that I'm back and forth with my emotions. The baby's father is less than understanding regarding my condition. He wasn't with me or the baby during the time I suffered most, but I have attempted to get him to read information and books regarding PPD. He just seems to believe it is something I find to worry about instead of a "real" illness. I feel that when I need his support most, he is more concerned about his own issues. He lives two hours away and is often asleep at night when I need to talk the most. I am afraid to call him to get support. I just don't know what is right and wrong concerning this situation. Luckily, I have a very good relationship with my family, my mother in particular, and my therapist and neurologist as well. I need so much love, so much comfort, especially being a stay at home mother who devotes all of her time to her son. Can anyone offer me some words of comfort and support? I need them so. Thank you.

From: Helena
Date: 9/25/02
Time: 2:54:44 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.10

Comments

Hey, Jessica

I'm sorry you're needing support and not finding it from the baby's dad. Is he also going to counseling?

My experience has been that it is sometimes very difficult, if not impossible, for some men to be emotionally supportive. And when that is the case, I'm not sure anything other than counseling (and that's no guarantee, either) is going to correct it. Personally, in the past, I have had to look to friends and members of my church for emotional support when that was needed.

I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear, and I am certainly no expert. I'm just sharing some of my personal experiences with you. You have to be the judge in your case.

The good news is you seem to be over the worst of your PPD and have it under good control. Thank the Lord! But I'm sure you know stress is the worst enemy of PPD, so please try to eliminate whatever unnecessary stress there may be in your life. (There's enough everyday stress we CAN'T eliminate that we have to deal with without taking on extra stress we don't need to claim!)

I'm extremely thankful that you have good support from your mom and family and from your therapist. That is so very important.

About your baby's dad not thinking PPD is serious -- well, ask him to read my story on this website! This is what PPD is capable of doing if it is not treated properly and not recognized as a potentially lethal disease. Just a few days ago, a good friend of mine who is an expert in emergency medicine made the statement that depression (including PPD, of course) is as real as the salt shaker he picked up off the table that was in front of us at the time we were talking. Also, I've been told postpartum depression is the deepest depression there is. It is NOTHING to take lightly or to sluff off!

I hope something I have said has helped you. Please don't hesitate to contact me by email or phone if I can help you in any way! My email address is BuzerHel@aol.com. You can reach me at the phone number on this website for the Foundation.

God bless you, Jessica. And I hope things get much better for you very soon.

Love you! Helena

From: Mandy
Date: 9/30/02
Time: 7:03:44 PM
Remote Name: 64.33.187.17

Comments

I recently shared how I was just found to have PPD and was put on Zoloft 25mg.About 15 days into taking the medication I was not sleeping well at all I went back to the Dr. and told him about the wierd thoughts I was having, that I was frightened at night when I was awake, and that sometimes I would think I saw someone next to me and I would turn to look and no one was there.So now Iam on Zoloft 50mg,Neountin,and respiradol. If any one out there has been on these meds or knows of someone who has gone through this please write back ASAP!!!!!!!!!!! Mandy

From: Helena
Date: 9/30/02
Time: 11:02:10 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.188.168

Comments

Yes, Mandy. I do know some people who have been through this, and if you will email me at BuzerHel@aol.com, I will share the names and email addresses with you so you can contact them for support. They are super ladies and want very much to help folks like you.

I am not a trained medical professional; however, the dosage of Zoloft sounds extremely low to me. I'm not sure, however, how a higher dosage would react to the other medications you are on. My best advice is to make really, really sure your doctor is knowledgeable about treating postpartum depression. Not all doctors are. If you don't feel comfortable with the treatment you are receiving and don't feel you're being heard or taken seriously, PLEASE find a doctor you do feel comfortable with. This is extremely important. PPD is a totally treatable illness, but it's vital you have a doctor who knows how.

I will be out of town part of the day tomorrow, 10/1, but will be home tomorrow night. Feel free to call me at the phone number for the Foundation any time!

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! AND YOU WILL GET WELL. But you need proper treatment and plenty of support. Try to find a local PPD support group. They are invaluable. Postpartum Support International at www.postpartum.net may be able to help you find a local support group.

I'll be happy to send you some printed information about postpartum depression if you will email me with your mailing address. We love you and will do everything we can to help you. Please contact me.

Love, Helena

From: Kim
Date: 10/1/02
Time: 2:16:19 PM
Remote Name: 64.171.25.11

Comments

I am a nursing student doing a project on postpartum depression. Any information shared with me will not go any farther then my own personal research. Please any help that you could give would be beneficial. What could have health professionals have done to identity postpartum depression early on such as: were you ever informaed of PPB vs PPD and the signs and symptoms of each? Did you ever think that you could suffer from PPD? What have you done for support and what helps the symptoms? How many kids total do you have? Do you have support? How does PPD affect your interactions and care you give your child, if at all? How old are you and what state are you from? Thank you so much for any information that you could provide. It is greatly appreciated. There is not a lot of medical info out there on PPD, I'm trying to change that. Thank you for your support.

From: Randy
Date: 10/1/02
Time: 4:48:21 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.208.40

Comments

Hi Mandy,

Just wanted to reach out to you and reassure you that you are not going crazy. PPD is abolsutely treatable and you will recover. I also suffered with intrusive thoughts and the lack of sleep made things worse. Do you have some help and support during this time? Support and rest is so important and you deserve it. I was on several medications but not on the same exact you are on. I know the proper combination of medications can be extremely effective, they were for me that is for sure. It so important to discuss all of your symptoms with your doctor, a qualified one, whom you feel very comfortable speaking too. Remember, you are not alone. I suffered with bizarre intrusive thoughts and I was ashamed to even talk about it. I honestly thought I was the worst case of PPD ever, that I was all alone, and that I would never recover. I am better today than ever. You will be too. Please, please don't feel that you need to suffer alone. Talk to other PPD Moms, get connected. We are here for you. You will get better. You may e-mail me at coachingmoms@aol.com. Warm hugs,

From: Marie
Date: 10/2/02
Time: 11:26:12 PM
Remote Name: 65.128.201.89

Comments

I know exactly how you are feeling I feel the same way about 24/7. I kept telling myself it was going to get better but it hasn't. I have finally made an appointment for next week. It is very scary but I want to be able to enjoy life again and my kids the way I should. I have a 9 month old daughter and a son who is almost 7. I wish I could give you some advice but I am just starting to come to terms and it is hard. I do want you to know that you are not alone in the way that you feel. When I read your message it all sounds like what I feel like daily. Please hang in there and know that if you need a friend who is in your shoes you can write me at JMS2022@MSN.Com

From: Marie
Date: 10/2/02
Time: 11:50:55 PM
Remote Name: 65.128.201.89

Comments

I am a 28 mother of two and I feel so alone inside. I am crying all the time, sometimes even hiding it. I have thoughts of hurting my self, and that no one would miss me if I were gone. I don't understand how I can feel so numb to thing yet feel so much pain and loneliness. My partner shows me no support and I have even tried to discuss mym feelings with him but it never works. He gets angry about me crying all the time so I try and hide it. I do it either while he is sleeping I go to another room or I do it outside. I am so tired all the time that I wouldn't ever get up if I didn't have the kids to take care of . I feel like I am so alone where I am at and now I think he is going to leave me and I feel like it is all my fault. I want to be able to enjoy my kids but then maybe they are batter without me I just don't know anything anymore. I can't stand feling like this everyday. I have made an appointment for next week but I am scared of it. I just want it all to stop. I have no family or friends where I am at and I fear that if he leaves it will only get worse . Can someone please tell me what to do, I feel like this has me emotionally paralyzed. Marie

Marie, please call me immediately (no matter what time you get this message) at the phone number on our home page.

You need immediate, medical treatment. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL NEXT WEEK. Please find a doctor knowledgeable in treating postpartum depression/psychosis. If you are not successful in finding a PPD doctor quickly, go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

Please don't even think about leaving your children without their mom. You are the best mom they will ever have! No one could ever replace you.

YOU ARE GOING TO GET WELL! And you have done nothing to deserve being sick. It happens. The good news is postpartum depression is totally treatable. You will recover.

In case you are still online, I'm going to cut this message short, but please, please contact me as soon as possible and let me help you. I can put you in touch with other women who have felt the same as you and are know totally recovered, happy women who would love to help you recover, too.

Please read Randy's message to Mandy on this message board. I'll give you Randy's email address if you will either call me or email me at BuzerHel@aol.com.

PLEASE, Marie, take care of yourself and get help NOW!

God loves you, my special sister, and so do I. Helena

From: Helena
Date: 10/3/02
Time: 2:54:26 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.165

Comments

Marie, I really feel the need to be more emphatic about this -- get help TODAY!

Please ask your partner to check out the page on our website for families. There are other excellent websites and books on PPD listed under "Resources" on this website. I urge you and your partner to learn as much about postpartum depression as possible. That knowledge and proper medical treatment will save your life and will make the lives of your family much happier because you will be with them.

Please let me know how you are as soon as you receive this message. I'll be checking back frequently. Or you can email or call me.

Love, Helena

From: Marie
Date: 10/3/02
Time: 1:01:54 PM
Remote Name: 65.128.204.92

Comments

Thank you for answering my message. I hate feeling so out of control with myself. I love my children very much and I take care of them but I can't seem to enjoy them. I feel like there are so many thoughts and feelings in my head that I can't tell which ones are real. I talked to my aunt last night which calms me down when I get upset but she is dealing with her own depression due to my cousins death 2 years ago. She is the one who urged me to get my appointment but I don't even really want to go to it. I feel like my house is more of a prison for me. My partner tells me I've become obsessive about cleaning but I can't stop. I go from cleaning to just laying on the couch in a stupor. I don't eat and then I eat anything I can get a hold of. I feel like I have no control over myself. I do know that this is some sort of depression but I don't know if its PPD or another. I live in a place where I have no one and it feels like the loneliness and anger are eating me alive.

From: Please accept help!
Date: 10/3/02
Time: 2:36:33 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.137

Comments

Hey, Marie

Whether you have PPD or not, in order to be able to function medication is extremely important. My psychiatrist friend (who is a very "all together" lady) tells me no matter what the cause of depression, there is still some chemical imbalance effecting the brain that needs to be addressed in order to be able to think and function normally. PLEASE DO NOT PUT OFF SEEING A DOCTOR. The longer you wait, the longer you are in misery and will not be going forward with your recovery.

Thank you so much for getting back to me and letting me know how you are. Please keep me in the loop so I'll know you're okay. =)

Are you a member of a church? This is one of the most effective places to rid yourself of loneliness and receive good emotional support that I know of. You need friends, Marie. PLEASE do not try to work this out alone.

Let me know what I can do to help you, okay?

Talk to you soon.

Love you! Helena

From: Helena
Date: 10/7/02
Time: 1:25:36 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.170

Comments

Hey, Kim

Would you mind emailing me at BuzerHel@aol.com so I can get your email address to give you the answers to your questions? I would prefer to do that personally as opposed to putting it on this message board. This way you email address won't be on the internet. =) Or you can call me at the phone number for the Foundation.

Our Foundation distributes a neat litle booklet on PPD called "Breaking the Silence". I will be happy to mail one to you if you'll give me your mailing address -- again through email so it's not publicized.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

Love, Helena

From: J.
Date: 10/9/02
Time: 11:48:14 PM
Remote Name: 64.33.139.158

Comments

Hi. When I had my first child over 7 yrs ago, I had no idea that I was suffering from PPD. I had depression for 3 1/2 yrs, the first yr being the worst. I learned a little about PPD and knew that if/when we had a second child that this was going to be a problem, and it was, even more so the second time around. So....I have been there, in some form; if you want to contact me, please do. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.... email me at jjager@wwt.net. I hope I can help.

From: Mandy
Date: 10/12/02
Time: 10:04:45 PM
Remote Name: 64.33.187.53

Comments

Iam starting to feel much more calm and not so overwhelmed all the time. Baby is keeping me very busy! Write more tomorrow.

From: Marie
Date: 10/15/02
Time: 8:48:28 AM
Remote Name: 65.128.200.142

Comments

Thank you for your support Helena. I hit botttom pretty hard the night before my appointment but I went to it and they admitted me for a few days and now I have started my meds to help me get back to normal. I know they will take a while but I do feel a little better and now the constant thoughts running in my head have slowed down. It is going to be a long process I know but I'm going to try. It was hard being away from my kids while I was away and I know I don't want to lose them. I still am obsessive/compulsive but that will take time for the meds to work. My partner has gotten better to. I don't think he really realized what I was going through until he saw me out of control and at the bottom. He is working at being more supportive and it helps. I still feel some of my paranoiya but at least now he listen,ask questions and he talks me through it. I have follow up care and am looking forward to feeling whole again. It is still a daily struggle though. Thanks for the advice and support. And to others who are dealing with it I send you my best wishes and what to let you know that yes it was scary going away but it was best for me and and I even met some people who are where I am at and can understand the feelings because they are having them to. I would like to talk to anyone who needs a friend to talk to. I can be reached at jms2022@msn.com.

From: elizabeth
Date: 10/29/02
Time: 8:45:44 PM
Remote Name: 68.72.13.184

Comments

This is my third baby and I got ppd with my last child but it feels like the first time I got it. I have good and bad days but sometimes I just feel so hopeless. My husband went back to work and he stayed home for four weeks after the baby caleb was born just in case I got the ppd back. I know it is just temporary and I will get better I just want to be back to myself. I wish there was some kind of magic that could make you back to normal. My email is ajlips@ameritech.net.

From: Helena
Date: 10/30/02
Time: 1:16:20 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.138

Comments

Hello, Elizabeth! I have sent you an email and hope that you will keep coming back to this site or email me as much as you need to do so. We are here for you and want you to be well as soon as possible.

Love, Helena

From: Nicole
Date: 12/15/02
Time: 4:19:19 PM
Remote Name: 68.40.13.171

Comments

First of all, I want to tell you how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your daughter Ruth. I read her story and I was brought to tears because I am in the same situation. This is my second bout with PPD and my baby is almost a year old. My doctor has tried many different antidepressants, all to no avail. Recently, he put me on birth control pills to even out my hormones, which sent me into a severe depression. Now, he is trying a mood stabalizer along with the zoloft to see if that will do the trick. I am losing all hope of ever feeling "normal" again. I will have some good days but then the anxiety and depression creeps back up on me, especially premenstrually. I am researching the web, reading articles on PPD treatment, and doing all I can to get better but my patience is wearing thin. Why is this lasting so long? My first episode with PPD brought some relief after a few months of medication but this time around, the depression is the scariest thing I have ever experienced. I just need some reassurance that I will get better....my doctor keeps telling me this but I am getting discouraged. Thanks for all of your help.

Sincerely,

Nicole

From: Helena
Date: 12/15/02
Time: 7:15:37 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.137

Comments

Hey, Nicole

I am so sorry you are experiencing PPD once again, but this is not unusual. Once a person has PPD, it normally comes back with each subsequent pregnancy and normally worsens each time. That's the bad news.

The good news is your doctors are right! PPD is totally treatable and you WILL get better and feel like you normal self again.

I'm so happy you have come to our website, and I'd like to share a few things with you. One is, if you have not yet found the website for Postpartum Support International, please visit it. It is an extremely helpful organization with many folks who are knowledgeable about PPD. The website is www.postpartum.net.

Another very helpful website is an Online PPD Support Group at www.ppdsupportpage.com. There are a lot of caring women who have been where you are at that site who would be more than happy to help you through this.

One thing that experts are learning about PPD is the thyroid seems to play a part in this somehow, so please have your thyroid thoroughly checked if you haven't already done so.

As far as why your illness has lasted so long, I don't have a clue. It varies from person to person and case to case. Sometimes it takes readjusting medication to find the right combination for a particular person. That's not unusual; however, it takes time and I'm sure it's a tremendous stressor and taxes the patience terribly. And you are talking to someone who is very short on patience, I'm sorry to say. =)

Another thing, how well versed in treating PPD is your doctor? Is he/she an OB or a psychiatrist? It's okay to change doctors if you feel the need!

Are you going through any kind of therapy/counseling and/or participating in a PPD support group? Both of these are extremely important in treating PPD.

Please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com if you would like to discuss this further, if you have questions, and if you would like me to send you some written information on postpartum depression. We will be happy to help you in any way possible, Nicole. Just hang in there because you ARE GOING TO GET WELL! But you need help in doing that.

Lots of love and prayers for peace and strength! Helena

From: Nicole
Date: 12/16/02
Time: 11:58:51 AM
Remote Name: 24.221.73.42

Comments

Thanks Helena. Today is a better day (maybe because I am at work and keeping busy) and I know that I need to tackle this day by day.

I have a wonderful doctor who was an ob/gyn but switched to psychiatry a few years ago. I feel fortunate because he has expertise in both areas. He did check my thyroid early on and I do have hypothyroidism and am taking synthroid.

I will be sure to check out the websites you listed. Thanks again and I will be checking in soon.

Sincerely,

Nicole

From: Helena
Date: 12/16/02
Time: 12:24:38 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.10

Comments

That's wonderful news about your doctor, Nicole. You have half the battle licked!

So glad you're feeling better today. Please keep me posted on how you're doing. I am truly interested in you and hope and pray for your complete recovery very soon.

Don't forget to keep the Christmas stress down to a bare minimum. What you don't do this Christmas you can make up for next Christmas, maybe. Or it just may not necessarily have to be done at all. The very best Christmas gift you can give your family and those of us who love you is YOU. No one can take your place, EVER. So take good care of yourself -- it's not a selfish thing to do, it's a very generous thing to do!

Love you lots, Helena

From: Scott
Date: 12/18/02
Time: 7:56:02 PM
Remote Name: 199.182.193.232

Comments

My beautiful wife was just diagnosed with ppd. She is considered to be in the "moderate" range. We have four lovely children of our own all under the age of 5. (Carolin laughs saying: "No wonder I have ppd!) We have a great relationship with each other and our children. I am so fortunate to be the position I am in. I am a minister which makes it easy for me to be with her or be there for her when she needs. However, as I was reading the list of what family members can do there was one area that i could used some help. What is the best way to "validate" her feelings? I want to go thru this with her the best way I can.

Thank you,

Scott

From: Helena
Date: 12/18/02
Time: 10:30:06 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.188.168

Comments

Hey, Scott

What a heartwarming email you sent! Your wife is so blessed to have you -- and you to have her. Ruth's dad was a minister, also. Small world, huh?

My understanding of "validate her feelings" is that it means to understand that what your wife is feeling is real. What women suffering from severe PPD think (hallucinations, distorted low self-image, etc.) is also real. Even though the PPD feelings can be very "unfactual", they are real to the sufferer, and she needs to know you realize that.

Now, that is not to say that you don't reassure your wife that any feelings she may have of being a bad mom, wife, daughter, etc. is totally untrue. On the contrary, she needs all the reassurance of how special and wonderful a person she is. I think what is being said here is, don't treat her FEELINGS as being absurd because they are extremely real and factual to her.

I highly recommend your reading "The Postpartum Husband" by Karen Kleiman. It is written specifically for men, in a manner that would particularly interest them. It's bulleted and is easy, quick reading -- and it is extremely helpful.

If there are any PPD support groups near you, I urge you to encourage her to attend; you might even want to attend with her. We encourage husbands to attend our meetings with their wives if they are open to that. YOU need as much support and she does!

The best way you can help your wife is to be as knowledgeable about PPD as you can be. An excellent website to visit is www.postpartum.net -- Postpartum Support International. PSI can tell you whether there is a support group near you. Another good website is www.ppdsupportpage.com which is an online PPD support group. There, you will find forums for women suffering from PPD as well as for their husbands/family members where you can "talk" with folks who have either suffered from PPD and/or who are trained in treating it.

If you would like me to send you some written information on PPD, please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com with your mailing address and I'll be happy to do that.

Do not hesitate to email me, call me at the number on this website or leave messages on this board as often as you feel the need. We are here to help you as much as we can.

Oh, be sure to keep reminding your wife how much you love her and how loveable she really is! (And I'm sure you already do this.)

A blessed Christmas to you all! And thank you so much for contacting us.

God loves you, my brother, and so do I. Helena

From: Scott
Date: 12/24/02
Time: 10:17:57 AM
Remote Name: 199.182.194.124

Comments

Helena, Thank you for your response. It's good to know I was on the right track. I grew up surrounded by the idea of "men having it together" and women "crying about everything." (No reflection on my parents, My dad thinks my mom walks on water!)Yes, I have been doing extensive research on how I can be supportive to my wife. I am learning to "read her" (we communicate well) and act accordingly. I will definitely get the book you recommended and take you up on your offer to contact you anytime. Hope the holidays bring you bountiful blessings. Sincerely, Scott

From: Helena
Date: 12/27/02
Time: 12:31:18 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.97.11

Comments

Hey, Scott

So good to hear from you! How is your wife? It is such a blessing that you are as caring and sensitive as you are. It will help her recovery tremendously.

What kind of medical treatment is she receiving? This is really important. Postpartum depression can be tricky to treat, so her physician really needs to be pretty savy in treating it. We have a case here in town that I'm really concerned about because the psychiatrist treating this lady (who has a really severe case of PPD) saw her initially on Dec. 19 and gave her a followup appointment two weeks later! No, no, no! That's just asking for a tragedy. So go with your gut feelings in her treatment and don't hesitate to question doctors. The good ones will readily admit doctors don't know everything. And they really need input from a PPD mom's family, whether they realize it or not.

May God keep you, your wife and your family in the palm of His hand while you struggle with this illness. And don't forget -- it is only temporary and is entirely treatable!!

Please keep me posted on your wife's progress.

God loves you, my brother, and so do I. Helena

From: Rebecca
Date: 1/3/03
Time: 3:04:47 PM
Remote Name: 66.157.243.227

Comments

Hi! Just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for this wonderful group. I attended a meeting last night in Charleston and I was helped and encouraged. If anyone is suffering PPD, you need the support of other women who understand what you are going through. They do. I am so glad I went! Rebecca

From: Laura
Date: 1/3/03
Time: 4:45:52 PM
Remote Name: 67.35.154.146

Comments

I called my mom on my cell phone as I drove home from last night's meeting and told her what a good experience it had been. Prior to meeting you folks, she was the only person I felt I could talk to who really understood. She had PPD too, although it went undiagnosed and untreated. Fortunately, she had the support of family in the same town, but I don't. So, I'm really glad to get to know you all. Knowing my mother's story has helped me to know that I will get through this time. I'll reemphasize for message board readers the importance of having people to talk to who can relate to how you feel. It really does make a difference.

From: Helena
Date: 1/5/03
Time: 11:24:17 AM
Remote Name: 152.163.188.161

Comments

Thank you so much, Ladies, for taking the time to let us know your reactions to the support group.

You have given us a real boost because there have been many meetings we have attended where no one has shown up, and that gets a bit discouraging. However, it is well worth the time and commitment it takes to provide three support group meetings a month to know that you two felt so much better after attending. That is definitely what it is all about.

We are truly thankful that you benefitted from the support you received and hope you will continue to let us be there for you for as long as you need us. You are really special moms/women. You make valuable contributions to your family and community. Meeting you was as much a blessing to us as we were to you!

Love, Helena

From: Karen Mast
Date: 1/7/03
Time: 12:35:07 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.170

Comments

Laura and Rebecca, you both are remarkable women and it was a pleasure meeting you at the support group meeting! As you know I had PPD and have recovered from it also. You are both taking the right steps towards recovery by talking about PPD with your doctor, family, and your support group friends. Please KEEP TALKING!

From: Melissa
Date: 1/11/03
Time: 12:28:14 AM
Remote Name: 128.118.248.188

Comments

I have had a very stressful pregnancy. My doctors told me there was a very good possibility my child may have Down Syndrome. He was recently born on December 27, 2002 Everything went great. He was 3 weeks early and I had a ceserean section. They did test after he was delivered and the doctors are telling me he is perfectly healthy. However, I am so anxious all the time, and continue to beleive there is something wrong with him. Last week I started having horrible thoughts about hurting my baby. These thoughts got progressively worse so I sought immediate attention. I am now taking Zoloft and seeing a therapist. Is there anyone who has similiar thoughts?

From: Helena
Date: 1/11/03
Time: 10:31:03 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.237

Comments

Hello, Melissa

Although I have never experienced postpartum depression or the thoughts you have described, there are many women out there who have. I am emailing a friend of mine who has had similar thoughts to ask her to post a message to you on this website.

If you haven't already done so, you may want to read some of the other posts here and visit the online PPD support website mentioned elsewhere on this site. The address is www.ppdsupportpage.com.

This is a temporary as well as totally treatable condition. You WILL NOT feel like this the rest of your life, but you need treatment by professionals who are experienced in treating PPD. Keep in very close touch with your doctor and let him/her know of any changes in your feelings/situation. If, for any reason, you don't feel your doctor really understands what you are saying or how you are feeling, PLEASE change doctors immediately. Many physicians do not know how to treat PPD. And please try to find a support group close to you. Postpartum Support International (PSI) can tell you whether there is a group close to you. That address is www.postpartum.net.

Please keep in touch and let us know how we can help you. You can email and call me any time, as many times as you feel the need!

Love, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 1/11/03
Time: 10:39:24 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.237

Comments

One more thing, Melissa. If you have any more thoughts of hurting your baby, I strongly urge you to go to the closest emergency room. This is very serious; however, as I said earlier, it is totally treatable.

Sometimes it takes a while for the medication to kick in and sometimes several types of medication have to be tried before you find the right combination for your body. In the meantime, you and your baby HAVE to be safe. So that's why I urge you to go to the ER immediately if these thoughts continue.

Please get back to me when you can and let me know how you are. I really care about you, Melissa, and want you to get well as quickly as possible. The sooner you receive proper treatment, the sooner you will get well.

Love you! Helena

From: RandyB
Date: 1/11/03
Time: 5:21:26 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.237

Comments

Intrusive thoughts were a major component of my bout with Postpartum Depression. I probably thought of almost everything and anything. Getting professional help, talking about these thoughts, and realizing they are a symptom of the illness are all so very important to recovery. I would be happy to share further with you some of the things that helped me get through my PPD and the thoughts. The first and most important thing to do is to seek professional help through someone experienced in treating PPD. You will get better. E-mail me at coachingmoms at aol.com and read my previous post on this site. One of the first ones. My story is there. Hugs, Randy

From: Maria
Date: 1/16/03
Time: 4:16:56 PM
Remote Name: 141.151.184.198

Comments

Melissa,

I too have suffered from severe PPD for almost one year now. About 2-3 months after giving birth to my third child, a son I slipped into very deep depression. I just started Zoloft this week because after 10 months, I still had symptoms and they were worse. (After being a lot better in the summer) I had suicidal thoughts and I thought that it would be best to take my son with me. I was going to leave the other children behind (two others) because I wasn't a good mother to them anyway. It pains me to even admit that. I think I rejected seeking help for so long because I was so afraid that someone was going to take my children away from me. That shows you how illogical the illness is, I mean, if I kill myself, they won't have me either! It is important that you've sought help. Take care and God Bless. - You are not alone!!!! Maria

From: Helena
Date: 1/17/03
Time: 11:47:03 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.189.166

Comments

I can't tell you how much we appreciate your leaving your message to Melissa, Maria. I know that was extremely difficult for you, but it's women like you reaching out to other women who are suffering like you that is a huge boost to recovery! God bless you.

Now, is there anything we can do to help you? Please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com if we can help you in any way -- printed information, support via email, etc. I'm hoping you're seeing a psychiatrist who is experienced in treating PPD. They are the doctors who are most familiar with drugs used to treat PPD and know how to regulate them.

Please take good care of yourself and don't hesitate to reach out for help for yourself as quickly as you have reached out to Melissa!

As a mom who has lost a daughter to PPD, I can tell you that no one will ever be able to take your place with those who love you, so please remember PPD is a totally treatable, temporary illness. You will get well and stay well with proper treatment and good support. There are many options other than suicide. An excellent book to read is "Suicide: The Forever Decision" by Dr. Paul Quinnett. It can usually be found on Half.com at a really good price.

We have created an internet prayer chain (using first names only), and I was wondering if you two would like to be placed on it. About 50 folks all over the country comprise the prayer chain and are currently praying for numerous PPD moms. Just let me know and we'll add your names to the list!

Love to you both! Helena

From: Dr Hussain
Date: 3/7/03
Time: 9:44:10 AM
Remote Name: 195.92.67.75

Comments

Dear All, I am aware that this is a discussion group mainly for women. But I hope some of you will be able to advise me further. Athough I am a doctor myself - I know very little about post-partum disorders. Unfortunately my sister who delivered her first baby a few days ago became severely psychotic soon after. I myself made the diagnosis and arranged all the necessary care in a mother baby unit for my sister instantly. I know that it can be treated aggressively. And with much help and support many women get better. Has any one of you had PND with psychotic features? And does anyone know what the prognosis/outcome for puerperal psychosis is? Your help/advice will be much appreciated. You can contact me on: imranhussain786@hotmail.com should you require any other information on medical problems. Many Thanks.

From: Helena
Date: 3/7/03
Time: 6:11:41 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.230

Comments

Dr. Hussain,

So glad to hear from you. Please check your email for my replies. I'm hoping other folks who visit this website will leave a message for you, also.

Sincerely, Helena

From: Tracey
Date: 3/21/03
Time: 10:32:51 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.165

Comments

Dear Helena,

I'm so sorry for the loss you, your family and your daughter Ruth experienced. PPD can take away so much. Our daughter was born mid-summer 1999, I began my meds in Oct. 99. I remember your daughter's passing. I don't remember whether there was a news article or item about your organization. We were living in the Lowcountry at the time. My husband and I were close enough to the situation to know Ruth's life had been taken from her - she did not take it. I found out about your site after reading the Post & Courier online tonight. And although I wanted to reply to Dr. Hussain, I am unable to post on a public board. If you could post this for me, I'd be obliged.

My experience with PPD did include some psychosis. I saw and heard things and was afraid to be alone. And weirdly enough, I was afraid to spend money on groceries. Somehow my brain was so short-circuited that in my reality, food was not a necessity - I had to save that money for emergencies. Because there are such bizarre things going on in the PPD mind, I'd suggest you help your sister find a non-family member with whom she can talk and/or be treated. It's extremely difficult to tell some of these things to someone you love and who will still be there after the PPD is gone. And there will come a time when she is able to talk about her experiences, too. Also recommend when it's eventually time to begin lowering medicine dosages, do it in extremely small increments - at one time I was splitting my meds into 1/4 because the leaps in mg offered by the maker were so large, and I was already on the lowest available dosage.

Saved by His amazing grace, Tracey

From: Dan
Date: 3/22/03
Time: 12:59:19 AM
Remote Name: 65.59.100.230

Comments

Tracey,

Thanks for posting your experiences. It sounds trite, but it is good to know that what my wife expriened was not that strange. My wife had a serious bout of post partum psychosis about three months ago (about two months after giving birth to our first baby). It is horrible to even have to type this, but my wife had a nasty birth experience because among other arguments with the doctors and midwives, she disagreed with using pitocin to speed along the birth. A few months after the birth she became overwhelmed with fear about what those doctors had done. She cut out her birth stitches with a knife, bled horribly, fell into a coma and spent a month in a mental hospital.

Thankfully with after much prayer, taking the drug risperdal, and going to talk therapy etc, she seems fully recovered.

What worries me is that she says the cause of her anxiety and psychosis was being mistreated by those doctors. I think the doctors caused her extreme stress, but her mind caused the psychosis.

So here is my question, did you go through a stage where you could not accept that your mind caused you pychosis? How did you begin to get a realistic view of what your mind did to you?

I am trying to be a loving husband....since my wife does not want me to go to her therapy sessions, I must puzzle this out on my own, is it okay for her to have a slightly unrealistic view of what went wrong? Any ideas?

Dan

From: Helena
Date: 3/24/03
Time: 12:57:33 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.189.166

Comments

Hey, Dan

I'm so thankful your wife seems to be doing so much better; however, please continue to be watchful and cautious because this illness "comes and goes".

Would you clarify what you mean by "her mind causing her psychosis", please? I'm not sure I understand exactly what you mean. Actually, it is believed that the chemical imbalance in her body effects the way the mind functions, and this is what causes the psychosis. Is this what you meant?

I have emailed Tracey to let her know you have left her a message. I'm sure she'll get back to you as soon as possible. In the meantime, please keep coming back as often as you have questions and/or need support. We are here for you!

Thank God your wife has such a caring, supportive husband!

Love, Helena

From: Tracey
Date: 3/24/03
Time: 2:07:25 PM
Remote Name: 68.159.74.5

Comments

Dan, my heart aches for you and your wife. As I look back, I can identify events which absolutely helped create the depression. Sounds like your wife has been fortunate to respond quickly to the meds, but I'd urge you to be aware that depression often requires a long-term recovery. That's not to say your wife is not much much better. BAck to your ?, even though depression is something which hijacks the mind, there are things which when combined with the hormones going crazy make it happen. Even the experts havent' completely figured it out, as they cannot predict who will suffer and who will not. You might try to attend some sessions by yourself if she is not comfortable with going together. Of course, her confidentiality would be protected, but the doctor could help you to better understand the general process she is experiencing-and that knowledge could help you at home and may encourage her to open up to you. By the way, take lots of pictures of your beautiful wife and your wonderful baby together!

From: Dan
Date: 3/24/03
Time: 11:21:15 PM
Remote Name: 209.244.237.140

Comments

Tracey and Helena,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful replies. I guess when I said that my wife's mind caused the psychosis, I meant if felt the chemical imbalance caused the psychosis....and that the psychosis comes on with high stress (like giving birth, getting sleep deprived, arguing with doctors all in 48 hours).

I think the most wearing thing for me mentally with the watching, the monitoring, to see if she is indeed over the problem. I know the warning signs, the long conversations about conspiracies, the not being able to sleep,not being able to stick to one task. I have the emergancy numbers and a well thought out family plan on to what to do if there was a problem again.

The wearing thing is always trying to detect the onset of a problem while at the same time being relaxed and loving and normal. I would feel much better if I could talk with my wife's therapists about her treatment, when I went once before to her first doctor, she got very very stressed out.

So as you, I think wisely said Tracey and Helena, I think I will try and let things get into peaceful and normal patter for a while...and at the same time try and figure out how to be a calm loving husband while also being some sort of monitor. That last part is tough! Who would want to be their bride's monitor?

Dan

From: Helena
Date: 3/27/03
Time: 1:14:58 AM
Remote Name: 152.163.189.166

Comments

Hang in there, Dan. You're doing a terrific job! And the payoff will be well worth the stress and strain you are now experiencing.

You're absolutely right. It is so terribly, terribly hard to monitor an adult who is normally stable and all together, but this is only temporary. Your wife will get well! Just don't make the mistake of trying to rush it, and I don't think you will. You some to be very savy about postpartum depression.

If, however, you would like a copy of the booklet we distribute called Breaking the Silence, email me your address and I'll drop one in the mail to you along with some encouragement cards for your wife to keep with her at all times. My email address is BuzerHel@aol.com.

Please keep coming back to this message board as often as you need us. We're here for you and your wife!

Best wishes for a quick, complete recovery for your wife! Helena

From: Tracey
Date: 3/25/03
Time: 3:35:58 PM
Remote Name: 68.159.65.116

Comments

You are blessed with a sensitive spirit and that's a great help to your wife! I probably speak for many wives when I say don't forget to take your wife out on dates. It's a struggle sometimes after 9 months of pregnancy and maybe breastfeeding, worrying about what is best to eat and drink for baby's sake, to see yourself as a wife instead of baby's mom. Those feelings are even harder to overcome if, when a woman looks at herself from within, she cannot see the person she "used to be." And the act of getting dressed up to go out, anticipating something good happening, are very therapeutic for the anxious mind.

From: Julie
Date: 4/23/03
Time: 7:23:09 PM
Remote Name: 68.59.46.52

Comments

My daughter is 8 months old. I experienced what I considered to be the "baby blues" a couple of weeks after she was born, and then I felt 100% by about 8 weeks. I breastfed successfully for 6 months, after which I started feeling the same feelings as before, except with greater intensity. I know this fits the description of ppd in that it comes and goes, but does it go away for 5 months and then come back?

I saw one post on hypothyroidism and am curious as to whether anyone else has experienced the depression as a result of thyroid problems. I've been exercising religiously since my baby was born, and I still weigh 50 lbs. more than I should. I thought when I began feeling depressed recently that it was a result of my frustration at not losing weight after 6 months of hard-core workouts. As I have sat and read forums and discussions and articles about ppd, I feel as if I could be the poster child for the disorder.

I have finally made appointments with both of my doctors to find out, thanks to a bizarre coincidence. As I waited with my daugter at the pediatric ophthalmologist's office at MUSC yesterday, I had to extract an orange flyer from her curious chops. It was Helena's flyer. There were only two left, so the next person who grabs one will see an imprint of a single tooth. This morning, after a particularly protracted crying session, I sat down at the computer to see if I could find some sort of support. The first return on my search was an article from The Post and Courier about Ruth. I hate that I missed the 5k, but I will definitely be at the meeting next week. I feel better just thinking about it.

I took the "test" on the international ppd site and earned a 64: moderate ppd. I hate, hate, hate meds. Are they absolutely necessary? Does a behavioral approach exist?

How long does it take to feel "normal" again on average?

I still play with my baby and love her dearly. She's the most amazing little being. I have spoken harshly to her a few times when I was frustrated or tired, and I spent days beating myself up for it afterward. I'm a stay-at-home mom (for only a little while longer -- another source of frustration is that I don't want to go back to work as a teacher -- I wanted to start a video editing/web-design company, but my creativity is buried somewhere deep within). Both of my parents are dead, and my m-i-l and I are polar opposites.

I have awesome friends and a loving, devoted husband. My closest circle of friends have just had 2nd children, and I feel as if I am leaning on them too much right now. I feel so disconnected from my husband that I won't even let him touch me (also at issue here is the weight). He's not very vocal and has a tendency to clam up and feel nervous when I wig out. He's never been the mushy type, but I need him to turn into that type now.

I've always been secure in my self-image, although passionate and prone to emotional outbursts from time to time. I've thought myself a secure and deeply loving person until recently. How can a loving person speak harshly to a sweet, perfect little being? It's caused me to question my self. Maybe I'm a royal b**** who has spent her life masquerading as a fun-loving, happy girl who wants to be a rock-n-roll guitar goddess.

Thanks to whoever made it through to the end of my rant. I intend on printing it and taking it with me to my gp and my gyn tomorrow.

I look forward to meeting the amazing Helena next week. Thank you, Helena, for living in Chucktown. You've already done so much for me and all of these other incredible moms.

Julie

From: Helena
Date: 4/24/03
Time: 1:37:03 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.76

Comments

WOW! Let me tell you something else that will blow your mind...I'm assuming you were referring to the Storm Eye Institute at MUSC. Well, one of our Foundation's board members works in that office -- that's why you found the brochures there. The Lord surely does work in mysterious ways to take very good care of us.

Julie, please email me your mailing address so I can send you some very helpful PPD information. I'd like you not to have to wait until the next support group meeting (May 1) to get it.

Also,I urge you to get a copy of "Beyond the Blues" by Shoshana Bennett and Pec Indman (you can find the information under Resources on this website) immediately. It will help you immensely!

You might also have your husband read the section directed to families on this website. It may prove to be helpful to him. A helpful book for him to read is also on our website, "The Postpartum Husband" by Karen Kleiman.

Thank you so much for contacting us. We are so looking forward to meeting you next week. In the meantime, I'll be happy to give you some names of local ladies who are PPD survivors and who would be more than happy to talk with you and give you the support you need right now. You can also call me any time. When I receive your email address, I'll give you my phone number.

Remember, you ARE going to get well -- this illness does NOT last forever, although there is not specific time frame for recovery. It varies from person to person.

Love you! Helena

From: Julie
Date: 4/24/03
Time: 9:52:43 AM
Remote Name: 68.59.46.52

Comments

Thank you so much for your prompt reply, Helena. I think I have your phone # from the brochure. I am on my way to the doctor now (gp) and then to my gyn this afternoon.

I meant to post my email before: jgindhart@comcast.net.

Thank you again.

Love, Julie

From: Scott
Date: 4/29/03
Time: 1:00:46 PM
Remote Name: 204.31.171.37

Comments

Please do not mis-interpret what seems to be a selfish pat on my back. But, you are so right! My wife suffered with PPD with our fourth child. She is doing great now. But I found that being "Mr. Mom" with our other three really did ease her anxiety. The kids and I made efforts to make mommy feel very special. My wife and I are going out on dates once a month (Yes, I mean dress up dates!) SO, to all the husbands our there....MAKE YOUR WIFE FEEL SPECIAL!!!!

Signed,

Madly in Love

From: Steve
Date: 4/29/03
Time: 5:31:59 PM
Remote Name: 12.158.12.3

Comments

Hello, I was looking for some help on ppd. My wife has been diagnosed with ppd/ocd. She has just come out of inpatient care. She has horrifying thoughts and anxiety. The thoughts have gone away some, they dont happen as often. I have done everything I know to do to support her. I always try to encourage her and remind her of the days she has that are good. One bad thought must seem like forever to her because she doesnt remember any of the good when it happens. I before this happened and through it have always been loving and supportive. We live in Lake County Indiana and there is no place for her to go as far as a support group for PPD is concerned. I guess my question would be where do I go to get her more support? The doctor she has is not familiar with this case meaning PPD. This is the first time he has treated it. I know I give all the support I can but she still feels like she will not get any better. She has been on the medication for four weeks now and seems to be helping. My next question is how long will it take for the meds to kick in all the way. I have been searching countless hours on the internet for some direction. If you could please help.

From: Mary Anna
Date: 4/29/03
Time: 6:14:40 PM
Remote Name: 68.58.236.63

Comments

Steve,

Well, it sounds like the medication is beginning to help somewhat. I've heard new moms on medication say that they felt results right away to some saying it took up to 2 months or more. So, it's a very individual thing. If she were seeing NO results at this point I would say get her doctor to switch her medication or see about increasing the dosage. That may still be something you might want to ask about. It is not unusual at all for a doctor to do this. Some medications work better for some people than for others.

If this is the first time her doctor has treated a PPD case, I would almost suggest finding someone with more experience. Is this an OB or a psychologist you are referring to? If it is a psychologist with no PPD experience I think I would definitely find someone else. Your wife sounds like she really needs someone who knows what they're doing. Don't be afraid to find someone else.

If you can, try to get yourself a copy of "The Postpartum Husband" by Karen Kleinman. This is an excellent resource for spouses and family members coping with a PPD mom. It's quick to read and has great information and tips for family members.

Also, go to the Postpartum Support International website (http://www.postpartum.net/) to see if there are any groups in your area that can help. They may at least be able to put you in touch with some other moms who are going through the same thing. This will help your wife so much to know that there are other women going through the same thing that she is--and reaffirms for her that she is not "crazy"!

Good luck to you! I know this is hard but you WILL get your wife back!!

From: Julie
Date: 4/29/03
Time: 7:16:21 PM
Remote Name: 68.59.46.52

Comments

Hi Steve,

I started taking meds for my ppd last Friday and had to chime in about the intricacies of type/dosage of medication. I am in close contact with my doctor -- that has to happen to get the dose/type of medication just right for the individual. I have been climbing the walls since I started taking it, so they told be to start taking it every other day. Plus, they gave me 100mg to start with, and I am supposed to start taking 200mg after that. Even in this brief period of time, I've realized that I have to keep in close contact with my doctor so that I can get better as soon as possible.

I am feeling a tiny bit better today as a result. I'll keep you and your wife in my thoughts as we all conquer this beast.

The main thing that is helping me is knowing that this is temporary. I run that tape in my head any time I don't feel quite right.

Love, Julie

From: Helena
Date: 4/29/03
Time: 7:27:53 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.189.166

Comments

Hey, Steve

You've received some really good suggestions in the emails from Mary Anna and Julie. I'm delighted Julie wrote you, too, because it always helps to talk to someone who has been or is currently traveling down that road!

I have a couple of things to add. One is if you will email me at BuzerHel@aol.com and give me your mailing address, I'll be happy to put some helpful PPD information in the mail to you along with a set of encouragement cards that have proven to be very reassuring to the PPD moms with whom we work.

The second suggestion is, please get the newest copy (copyrite 2003) of Beyond the Blues by Shoshana Bennett and Pec Indman. It is an actual PPD treatment manual for and can be purchased from their website (www.beyondtheblues.com) or from Barnes & Noble. There is an earlier edition (2000) that is found on Amazon.com, so make sure you get the latest one because that one contains excellent tips on where to go for help, how to find doctors who are knowledgeable in treating PPD and what types of treatment are available.

Please tell your wife I would be happy to email with her or talk to her by phone ANY TIME!

God bless you both as you work through this treatable, temporary illness!

From:
Date: 4/30/03
Time: 11:20:54 AM
Remote Name: 24.168.212.123

Comments

Julie, My name is Amy and I have neen going through PPD for about three months now and I have to tell you that medication is a MUST to get through this. What we have is a chemical imbalance and it will not fix itself without medication. I have had my meds. changed a few times and I can tell a difference. It does get better. There are still bad days but there are also good days. I am a teacher and took the year off to have my baby. She is now 6mos. and I have decided to go back to work in August. Please write back if you need someone to talk with. I have been to the support meeting but I live in Lexington and it is hard for me to get down to Charleston. Take care.:) Amy

From: Dan
Date: 5/2/03
Time: 12:51:26 AM
Remote Name: 64.157.67.56

Comments

My wife has hit another rough patch. I suppose it would be better to wait to write until we get through it, but here I am.

Here's my question: How do I refrain from trying to talk my wife out of her delusions? For the past two weeks, I have listened to her repeat her bad birth experience to me over and over and over incessantly. I was there for much of her bad birth experience, and I readily admit that the hospital did not treat her kindly....and yet they weren't as bad as she makes them out to be...and some of her "facts" are just not accurate. After listening for a very long time, I finally have to interject that her tension and anxiety levels rose to heights that just where not normal, and that was what the hospital staff was concerned about. She gets upset with me when I say something, and says I am not supportive. Then she called a Bradley birth instructor and told her story to her, and I feel bad for my wife and the instructor, because the instructor is just not getting the full story. My wife can mask the delusional part well, someone only gets the sense that something isn't quite right when they hear the story repeated incessantly. Finally, I couldn't take the pressure any longer and decided to see what would happen if I called the counselor and told her about how my wife was acting. The counselor felt that my wife was still delusional and that perhaps her medication needed to be adjusted. The counselor said that my wife has not come to grips with the fact that she has psychosis. I know many women reading these pages are assured that their problem is temporary. My wife's counselor seemed to indicate that my wife's psychosis is permanent, but that medication will help her manage the problem. My wife is supposed to visit the counselor on Friday. I am nervous that when my wife finds out I called, she will view me as part of the problem. I also don't want to give the therapist and the psychiatrist bad information, but my wife just doesn't seem right. She can take care of our baby just fine, but she seems to be always thinking about something...preoccupied. I ask her what she is thinking about and she launches into that old tired birth story.

Well I can see the consequence of writing while in crisis mode, succinctness goes out the window. Here is another attempt at succinctness: -How can I listen and listen and listen to the story and not go nuts myself? -Can I let doctors and therapists know when she seems to be getting worse without being considered a traitor? -How do I help my wife come to grips with the fact that she has a problem with psychosis and may have deal with it for a very long time?

Our tenth wedding anniversary will be in a few days. This is all so sad...But enough whining, we have a beautiful six month old and today my wife taught her to copy us and clap her hands.

Dan

From:
Date: 4/30/03
Time: 2:41:07 PM
Remote Name: 68.59.46.52

Comments

I deeply appreciate all that you guys are doing/have done to help me.

I am going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow to talk to him about possible alternatives to drugs. I am not a severe case (never been suicidal and can still function).

I am determined get get my system back on track through alternative means. I am not going to gamble with another chemical. In fact, I haven't received the test results on the hypothyroidism thing.

I will not risk feeling the way I have felt for the last 5 days. Before I took the stuff, I was coping fine and working on a more behavioral and natural approach. The Wellbutrin made me crazier than I have ever felt in my entire life.

All of this will happen under the supervision of physicians. People have been functioning for a long, long time without pharmaceuticals. Yoga, meditation, exercise, nutrition, therapeutic massage. Has anyone ever actually tried that, or does everyone just pop pills? Have the holistic methods been exhausted and proven ineffective? These are questions that I want answered before I will be convinced to start putting pills into my body again. (My first appt. with the psychiatrist is tomorrow at 4:00.)

You guys are incredibly kind and responsive. I also have a great support system here with me. Perhaps I will author the first book on coping with depression holistically.

Much Love, Julie

From: Helena
Date: 5/2/03
Time: 7:33:39 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.189.98

Comments

Wow, Dan, that's a lot to address, but here goes. If something slips by me, please jog my memory and ask again!

First of all, no, you are NOT a traitor by contacting your wife's counselor. That's the best way you can help her. Good, open communication with a family member whose brain is NOT impaired is imperative. In my opinion, the counselor should keep that in strict confidence if you prefer that your wife not know you called.

I'm a bit concerned, however, about your wife's access to this information on the internet. Is she not into computers? How much risk is there that she will find this website and read your messages.

Next question, would it be better for you and me to email for more privacy, or is there a risk of her reading that, also. I guess my concern about this stems from your not wanting your wife to know about your call to the counselor.

Secondly, I would be much more apt to believe her psychosis is permanent if that diagnosis came from a psychiatrist and not from a counselor. Don't misunderstand, I am certainly not putting down counselors because I know some excellent ones, but strictly speaking, I'm not sure they are qualified to make diagnoses like that.

As for your other two questions, I feel very strongly that you need to find some guidance with a trained professional for yourself in how to deal with your wife's illness without losing your cool. A good counselor, not necessarily the same one as your wife's because my gut feeling is you need your own, should be able to give you some coping skills and guidance in how to deal with her constantly "playing the same tapes" of her hospitalzation horrors over and over. The professional should also be able to help you in trying to help your wife face the reality of her illness.

There is much I do not know about mental illness, but I'm wondering if one of the reasons she is not able to accept the nature of her illness is the illness itself. After all, her ability to think and reason clearly is drastically impaired. So it makes sense to me that she just may not be able to accept the fact that she has psychosis.

I strongly urge you to seek out professional help to get you through this. Clearly you love your wife and family and want to do whatever possible to help your wife through this, but in the process you must take care of yourself.

Please get a copy of Beyond the Blues by Shoshana Bennett and Pec Indman as soon as possible (the 2003 edition can be ordered from their website www.beyondtheblues.com). I truly think it will help give you a little more understanding and direction.

I'm so thankful you have come back to us and are reaching out for help. That's such a healthy, positive thing to do. Keep reaching out to anyone you think can help you.

We love you, Dan -- and your family -- and hope and pray things will level off very soon for all of you.

God loves you, my brother, and so do I. Helena

From: Dan
Date: 5/5/03
Time: 8:26:59 PM
Remote Name: 209.245.116.3

Comments

Helena,

Thanks for your timely reply. As far as confidentiality, I am in a bit of a quandry. My wife uses our computer for e-mail and not the web, so this way is acutally a bit more annonomous than e-mail. E-mailing at work for personal reasons, is a big no-no for a Fed like myself. The tragic part of all this is having to be secrative at all. I think those women who read and post on forums like yours are probably doing better than those like my wife who don't want to discuss their problem. And yet my wife like all us,deserves her privacy. And yet I need at least some forum for reaching out when times get bad. So it is a quandry.

My wife as greatly improved since Friday, and so have my spirts. I think that many people in my situation tend to think that: "once my wife's crisis is over, I don't feel like bothering to seek out special counseling for myself. That, maybe this will be the last time she will have a problem, or maybe since I got through the last round, that I will be stronger next time." I guess I need some compelling reason to seek out counseling for myself now that the storm has passed. Thank you so much for your encouragment about talking with my wife's counsellor. One thing I learned from this round of bad times was that I waited too long to call. I think I could have saved my wife and myself a week of agony if I had called them a week earlier, when things first started getting bad. She seemed much much better after she spoke to them. I will try and get the book you suggested this week. Thanks again for all your help, prayers and encouragement! Dan

From: Dan
Date: 5/9/03
Time: 9:37:31 PM
Remote Name: 171.75.72.159

Comments

Helena, I was really encouraged by the e-mail which you sent as well as the one that you forwarded from Randy. As I read it, I hoped, as did you, that if my wife saw it, she would be encouraged. Tonight I went back to read it, so that I could respond to you and Randy, and saw that my wife had deleated it from my e-mail list. Don't know what that portends...she and baby are off to a church women's evening. I truly hope my wife can reach out to people like Randy and yourself and be encouraged! So far my wife thinks the best approach to what may still be happening to her mentally is just to ignore it. I guess I just have to be patient and keep praying.

After reading Randy's e-mail message, I got to wondering how seriously I should take my wife's incessant discussions about her delivery experience. (She has not spoken about it in the last week, so I am thinking what to do in the future)It seems like Randy had to talk and talk about it, and her sister did not get overly concerned. I guess the stages are that I get worn out by her tense attitude and having to listen day after day, and my worn out feeling turns into a desire to get her some help so she will just relax a bit and stop.

My parent's attitude is that as long as she is doing a great job caring for our baby, that there is no cause for concern. I however, can't feel so easy about it all because I saw on one occasion how this tense kind of talking lead to worse things which lead to a long stay in a mental hospital.

My wife says not to worry, that the problems that lead to her going to the hospital are all in the past. So you see since she won't let me talk to her psychiatrist or councellor, I am left positing endless questions in my mind. Possibilty one: My wife is right, not to worry, she will never have a problem with psychosis again. Possibility two: My parents are right, relax, just keep an eye on how well she cares for the baby. Possibility three: I am right, signals like incessant conversation, and a feeling of agitation are signals that she is not well, and that things could get worse.

Well Helena, I am babbling again. But at least your page gives me that opportunity, and the opportunity to read some thoughtful responces. Please ask Randy to respond if she has any thoughts as well.

Dan

PS I sent for the books you and Randy mentioned. I just hope my wife is okay with my reading them!

From: Helena
Date: 5/10/03
Time: 12:10:06 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.75

Comments

Hey, Dan

Thank you so much for the beautiful pictures! You have a precious family.

Why don't you give me a call at 843 881-2047 and I'll give you Randy's email address. Just write it down and keep it in your wallet, if necessary.

You probably don't want to hear this, but I'm not a bit comfortable with your wife's progress at this point. Is she seeing a doctor/counselor regularly? My gut feeling is she should be followed at least once a week right now. I'm concerned if she is not any more open with them than she is with you, how can they possibly have a realist feel for where she is, healthwise, right now? One of the many effects of postpartum depression is it truly renders the brain unable to think clearly or realistically. Therefore I feel very strongly that it is imperative that healthcare givers talk openly with spouses/families of their patients to obtain a true picture of what's going on.

Did you happen to check out the online PPD support website mentioned in the resources on this website? There is a forum strictly for men whose wives are suffering from PPD/PPP that you might find extremely helpful. This is an excellent site. The web address is www.ppdsupportpage.com.

Seems there was more I wanted to tell you, but my brain is pretty tired right now. If I think of anything else, I'll write you again.

Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers, Dan. I'm sure you don't feel like this right now, but you really are doing a great job. Just keeping it together under these circumstances is a pretty major accomplishment.

Something Pec and Shoshana point out in their book that I feel is extremely important is they have not known any woman suffering from PPD who has been properly treated who has not recovered! That's yet another reason for you to do everything in your power to make sure your wife IS properly treated. If you have reservations about that, CHANGE DOCTORS NOW!

Keep the faith, my brother, and know that others are praying for you.

God loves you and so do I. Helena

From: Helena
Date: 5/10/03
Time: 12:21:53 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.75

Comments

One more thing, Dan. I therapist friend of mine tells me that psychosis means being out of touch with reality. Usually people don't think they're psychotic- their reality (warped as it is) seems real to them.

So as unpleasant as it is, you are the one who is truly capable of making important decisions. Psychosis is very serious. Don't take any unnecessary risks, please.

Please call me any time day or night, if you need to talk.

Love, Helena

From: Dan
Date: 5/13/03
Time: 8:17:09 PM
Remote Name: 171.75.72.167

Comments

Helena, Thanks again for all you encouragement! If you look at the "Ask an expert" section of the Post Partum Int. Web page and also Karen Kleinman's web page, you can see my posts there. I have also gotten good advice and encouragment from those folks as well. Yesterday my wife was back to the anger and the repetitious retelling of her birth story. She was very upset when I asked again to go to her pyschiatrist, or a marrige counselor, someone to help us break this impass of whether she has/had a problem with psychosis. I told her how anxious I felt while at work wondering how well she and our baby were doing. She rejected all of my concerns and said I was living in fear and that she was just fine.

Then today, the storm clouds seemed to pass. She has arrainged for us to see a counselor together next Tuesday, not her present psychiatrist, but rather a midwife who does counseling (spelling?). I would have prefered speaking with her and the psychiatrist, but nevertheless, I think this could be a major breakthrough! I just hope this midwife takes psychosis seriously.

After reading your post, I did speak with my wife's psychiatrist about the safeness of my wife and baby being home alone. The doctor was not aware that my wife was not seeing the counselor on a weekly basis. She did not seem too worried about my wife having psychosis now and spoke of taking her off medication. She wished that my wife would let the two of us come to see her. She said that I was the chief means of monitoring wether she presently had pyschosis, which made me really uncomforable since I don't want my wife to think I hold all the power.

So the issue is mainly one of saftey. Is my wife presently delusional and unsafe if she refuses to recognize that she had a problem with pyschosis in the past?

Anyway, I am very thankful for a shred of good news.

Dan

From: Helena
Date: 5/14/03
Time: 1:02:59 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.76

Comments

So good to hear from you. I was hoping you would be back soon.

I am not qualified to diagnose whether your wife is delusional or psychotic, but let me share with you the way I'm feeling since reading your last post.

I am still very, very concerned about her safety and possibly the safety of your family. A very good PPD psychiatrist who lives in our area has said that women suffering from postpartum depression/psychosis, should not even think about coming off their medication for at least a year after they have leveled off. (This doctor's wife actually suffered from PPD.) If your wife's psych. is advocating taking her off her medication, I would be going for another opinion as fast as I could. My daughter had only been leveled off and feeling more like herself for less than two weeks, and her psychiatrist decreased the dosage of her medication. She was dead in about a week. I have heard similar versions of this story repeatedly. My experience has been adjusting medication for people who are severely depressed WHEN THEY ARE FEELING WELL is extremely dangerous. "If it ain't broken, don't fix it!"

I just read all the posts on the PPD support site, and I feel compelled to tell you that just last night I received a message from another dad with whom I had been in contact off and on whose wife had been suffering from postpartum psychosis for nearly two years. She seemed to be getting better and then it started coming back. She simply could not deal with the pain and agony she suffered previously, so this past Monday morning she took her life.

I share with you a statement in Beyond the Blues by Bennett and Indman: "We have never met a woman who, after proper treatment, did not recover."

Proper treatment, along with good support, is the key!!!! In my opinion, the very best thing you can do to protect your wife and family is do whatever possible to see to it she receives proper treatment, now.

PLEASE buy a copy of Beyond the Blues ASAP. There are some really good examples of questions to ask potential doctors to make sure you're getting the best treatment possible for your wife.

Also, my opinion again because I'm not a medical professional, psychosis is not something from which someone recovers in a matter of a couple of months.

I do hope this message has been a helpful one to you. It most certainly is not my intent to terrify you, but it IS my intent to stop the madness of losing moms to an illness that can be treated.

God loves you, my brother, and so do I. Helena

From: Helena
Date: 5/14/03
Time: 11:46:26 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.41

Comments

Hey, Steve

Since we haven't heard from you in a while, I was wondering how your wife is doing. Please let us know how things are for you and your family and if there is anything we can do for you. Remember, you and your wife are not in this alone, and she IS going to get well with proper treatment.

Peace, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 5/19/03
Time: 5:40:03 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.252.97

Comments

Hey, Dan

I have a telephone number for a man who can probably help you a lot. His wife had psychosis and he now spends a large amount of time trying to help others families going through it. The below link is where you can read his story.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/104115_suicide15.shtml

Since I don't want to publish his name and phone number on the web, please call me so I can give them to you. He will be delighted to talk with you.

Hope things are better for you and your family. You're in our prayers.

Love, Helena

From: Dan
Date: 6/3/03
Time: 7:35:30 PM
Remote Name: 171.75.72.55

Comments

Helena, We just returned from a long family visit to Iowa. It was a great visit and my wife seems to be doing just fine. The best ever actually. She tells her family and friends in Iowa that the hospital convinced me that she had post partum pyschosis. She says all she had was stress from bad treatment. (I still think she is wrong on that note...but there is no convincing her) She says she is just fine now, and she does seem fine, so I continue to just try and watch, while we both put our lives back together. I still wish she was in a slightly safer situation where she was at least seeing a therapist. That way the next stressful situation won't be complicatd by my wife becoming preoccupied with thoughts which seem overly conspiratorial to me. Though in reading the very sad article you attached, even professional help does not prevent tragedy. I just think I know the warning signs, and I hope I could act quickly if I felt my wife was showing signs of stress. The state social workers have closed our case and tell my wife that they are happy with our situation. So my wife has affirmation that she is doing well. I will try and call soon, though the feeling I have is that for now the worst seems to be over. Thanks again for your prayers and support! Dan

From: Helena
Date: 6/2/03
Time: 4:52:14 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.75

Comments

Hey, Dan

You are MORE than welcome for all prayers and support we can give you! I sincerely hope and pray your lives can now be back to normal and stay that way, but you are certainly very wise to be watchful.

Please don't hesitate to contact me and/or Randy anytime if you should need us. Our only objective is for your wife to be totally well and for you and your family to have your lives back.

God loves you, my brother, and so do I! Helena

From: Helena
Date: 6/13/03
Time: 11:40:39 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.41

Comments

Here is a message I received recently that I think may be helpful to men whose wives are suffering from PPD:

A new website is being constructed that is aimed at assisting men whose wives are suffering from PPD. The website, www.postpartumdads.org, provides guidance for dealing with the recovery process, as well as assistance in overcoming the many obstacles that men encounter. This website is a combination of first hand accounts and general information written by dads. In order for the website to have maximum impact we need more men to participate by sharing their experiences dealing with PPD. As stories are collected they will be inserted into the website to illustrate specific points. As we incorporate more stories into the website we will be able to address more issues. If you know someone who has successfully assisted their wife in recovering from PPD, please encourage them to visit the website and consider participating in making this a powerful resource.

David

From:
Date: 6/14/03
Time: 5:01:39 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.252.97

Comments

I had my fourth son in december.He is agood baby but I dont know if i have this or not I dont want to hurt him I cant tell any one my thoughts they will take my kids i just want to die right now today . thats why i was on the computer to see how to die but i wanted to see if this will go away i want it to go away i do my husband doesnt thinks i am ok and i am just resentful i dont know i wish i could stop crying its been six months i should have stopped right i cant even keep my house clean i cant find a job i am so tired my kids i ruined their lives i did iaaam so sorry for everything if i had a job why ddid i have a baby why why do people like me have babys.i dont know its crazy my mom is so hateful she just says to stop crying and she did not tell me to have four kids . I can not go to the doctor they will take tthe kids i seen it on tv on judging amy what do i do. my apt is small and unfit for kids I have no choice i have no job no money no food i just cant tell .when i am gone my kids will have their dad he has a job and he can move cause there will only be 5 and people will rent him a house and it will be cheeper to eat .please dont tell

From: Helena
Date: 6/16/03
Time: 1:47:24 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70

Comments

I totally understand how desperate you feel, but please believe me when I say what you have is totally treatable and you will get well with proper treatment! If you will send me your mailing address I will send a book to you that will help you tremendously. It's called "Beyond the Blues"

It sounds like you are suffering from postpartum depression but you really need to be diagnosed and placed on medication immediately! In fact, you should go to the nearest emergency room immediately. If your children have someone to take care of them, such as your husband or a family member or friend, no one is going to take them away from you because you are suffering from postpartum depression -- especially if you are trying to find treatment.

If you will email me (or call me at the number on this website) at BuzerHel@aol.com and let me know where you live, I might be able to find some treatment/support for you. PLEASE DON'T END YOUR LIFE. IT IS NOT IN THE BEST INTEREST OF YOUR FAMILY even though it may feel like it. The reason you are thinking and feeling the way you are is because of the illness. It is crippling your mind and making you think you are a failure and a bad mom. YOU ARE NOT! IF YOU WERE, YOU WOULD NOT BE SO CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.

Please contact me ASAP and let us help you. You do not have to suffer alone! There is help out there, but you need to start treatment immediately.

I also suggest that you go to www.ppdsupportpage.com. This is an online PPD support group that is tremendously helpful. If you know anyone who has suffered from postpartum depression and is now functioning well and is happy, please get in touch with them and let them help you through this. That's also what I will be doing for you when you let me know how to contact you. I'll put you in touch with others who have been where you are and are happy, normal moms who are doing very well today.

And PLEASE don't allow anyone to stress you out!

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: Helena
Date: 7/15/03
Time: 4:38:30 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.41

Comments

Just wanted to get out some advance word that there will be a PPD workshop held in Charleston, SC on Oct. 18, 2003 in the Barauch Auditorium at Medical University of South Carolina.

Presenters will be:

Jane Honikman, Founding Director of Postpartum Support International

Pec Indman, co-author of "Beyond the Blues"

Dr. Belynda Veser, psychiatric advisor to the Ruth Craven Foundation

We are specifically targeting doctors, nurses, lactation specialists, midwives, doulahs, therapists, PPD sufferers and survivors and any one else who is working with pregnant women and delivery in any way. Our focus is mainly South Carolina and neighboring states, but attendance is certainly not limited to those areas.

If you are interested in attending, please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com so I can put your name on a list to receive a more comprehensive mailout soon.

Hope to see you there!