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The Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation for Postpartum Depression Awareness

From: maryannamu@home.com
Date: 1/12/02
Time: 3:41:47 PM
Remote Name: 24.4.252.232

Comments

Welcome to The Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation's message board! Please feel free to submit your questions, comments, or experiences with postpartum depression. We hope you find this site and this message board to be a valuable resource.

Mary Anna

From: Helena
Date: 1/14/02
Time: 8:56:14 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.101.157

Comments

Please feel free to contact us through this message board as many times as you need to do so. We are here to help you through an extremely difficult illness.

Although none of us has a medical degree, we do have excellent contacts in the medical community who are willing to help answer questions. We are committed to giving you the best service possible in order for you to get well as quickly as possible.

We do ask that our guests use courteous, non-offensive language. We understand many of you are frustrated beyond words, but we need to protect the integrity of our website for others.

We look forward to hearing from you.

From: Randy B
Date: 1/16/02
Time: 4:14:40 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.28

Comments

There was a time in my life when I felt as though my whole world was falling apart. I had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy five weeks prior and everthing had appeared normal. All of a sudden, these intrusive thoughts started to whirl around in my head. They came from no where. There was no ryhme or reason to them. My heart ached constantly. I was unable to sleep, even when the baby slept. I felt so sad but I couldn't even cry. I felt so alone. I couldn't speak to anybody about what I was going through. This was supposed to be a "happy time" and I felt that I was responsible for what was happening to me. Why couldn't I just snap out of it like many people suggested? Why couldn't I think positive, peaceful thoughts and bring myself out of this dreadful thing? What the heck was wrong with me? I agonized and tried to find answers. I had always thought I was so strong, so together,vivacious, with a great sense of humor. I was not laughing now, infact, I couldn't even smile. I put on a phony face but instead I knew the pain I was feeling, a pain so strong It physically hurt.

Several weeks went by and I became so desperate for help. I was not sleeping at all. I lay in my bed tossing and turning. The days were so long, the nights were even longer. I finally picked up the phone and called my ObGyn. He was absolutley no help. I called a therapist. No help either. And the story goes on and on. I heard ridiculous things like, "You just need to take a nap, have somebody watch the baby" "Maybe your jealous of the baby" "Maybe you weren't ready to have a baby" "Why did you stop breastfeeding" Not once did I here anybody say the words I needed to hear. I had just about given up and I almost took my own life. Finally, I was given a piece of paper from a nurse with a list of numbers to call for support groups for woman suffering from PPD. I finally picked up the phone and I made that first call. I heard the words I so desperately needed to hear, "You are suffering from Post-partum depression, it is a chemical imbalance brought on by the tremendous hormal shift in your body. You are not alone as many woman have experienced exactly what you are going through. Randy, with the proper medical treatment and support, you will get better...I promise you." She gave me the name and number of a therapist/psychiatrist who specialized in PPD. I called right away. I was at their office with in two days and on my way to recovery! I attended support groups and reached out to Moms whenever I needed support(which was often). I made my therapist promise that I would get better, infact, I even made her put in writing. Several weeks after the medication "kicked in" I could feel the depression lifting. I had some amazing days but then I would get hit with a rough day and I would think, "Oh, no is this the illness again" I was reassured that this was normal and my medication was monitored and adjusted appropriately. Soon, those "eh" days were few and far between. I started to really laugh and enjoy my life and my new baby. The love I felt for him was so strong. I know that my experience has strengthened the bond we have and I have grown immensely. I have learned so much about PPD and have realized that it is not a weakness. I am not the same person today. I have grown in ways I never imagined. I realize that I have a special place on this earth, just like everyone of you. If you are suffering with PPD, I would like to give you the gift someone gave me. The following words... "YOU WILL GET BETTER" Hold them close to your heart. Make that phone call and reach out for help. There are people that understand. You are not alone and you will recover. You have a very important place on this earth and there is nobody that could be a better mother to your child than you.

With love and lots of hugs, Randy Berman

P.S. I went on to have a second child, a baby girl-who is now 2 1/2.

From:
Date: 2/7/02
Time: 11:48:58 AM
Remote Name: 24.141.180.239

Comments

Randy- your words today have filled me with such an incredible surge of hope. I am suffering from PPD and currently feel as if I will never be any different. I am scared I have years of parenting to face with no right to them. I feel as if I am a bad mum. Now, I have beeb diagnised with PPD, but ny psychiatrist wrote me two prescriptions, one of which I can't take cause I'm nursing. She said-: wean, call a cousellor, and take some time for you. Call m in trhee weeks. I walked out feeling ripped off and scared that it really is me! Whta should I do now?

From: Randy again
Date: 2/7/02
Time: 10:33:43 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.101.169

Comments

I know how difficult it must be for you right now, you are suffering with this PPD thing and frankly it really stinks. I understand what you are going through because I have been there and I can assure you that PPD is 100% treatable. You need to find the right help that best supports your needs. You felt ripped off after seeing this counsellor because your intuition was right on. Trust it and find someone else, someone who knows about PPD, and how to treat it. Check out the resources at Postpartum Support International and Depression after Delivery. They can put you in touch with other professionals in your area. If you have any questions or need some support you may e-mail me at coachingmoms@aol.com. Regarding weaning, do not stop weaning suddenly. There are some antidepressants that are known to be safe for breastfeeding. If you do decide to wean, check with an experienced PPD professional who will recommend you do it very, very slowly (even if you are not feeding the baby you will still need to pump)

Something else I want to share... When a Mom get's PPD it is not her fault, so it is not your fault.You did nothing wrong. In fact, most often PPD moms are such caring beautiful women with amazing hearts and that is why it hurts so darn much. Just remember that nobody wants to feel better more that you do. If your good friend came to you, and she was suffering with PPD (and this could very well happen because PPD effects approx.15% or more of new Moms), what would you say to her? How could you best support this friend? Maybe you would seek out the best resources and doctors possible to help this good friend in need. People that are experts in the field and who have successfully treated hundreds of Moms. Maybe you would suggest she connect with some of these Moms, who might remind her that she is not alone, and help is a phone call away. Maybe you would assure her that she will recover because you know a Mom (me) who has completely recovered and who has supported many many Moms over the past 8 years, everyone who have completely recovered. Maybe you would tell her to not settle for anything less, and to seek a doctor/therapist who understands and is experienced around PPD. You know in your heart that this friend deserves and is entitled to feel happy and well. You might even give her a great big hug and tell her how much you care. Well, I hope looking at it this way helps. In the meantime, I am sending you out a great big hug, from me and every mom who has been there. Take care of you and ask for help, you deserve it.

Love, Randy

From: Rachel
Date: 2/8/02
Time: 4:36:43 AM
Remote Name: 195.92.168.169

Comments

I am a mother of a 15 month old baby boy, Dylan. When he was born I suffered major hallucinations and delusions but I couldnt tell anyone, I tried to tell my partner that when I look at the wall paper I feel like Im "Tripping" (as I had previously dabbled with drugs when I was younger) But my boyfriend just ignored me, I begged him not to leave me on my own and screamed for him to help me but he just thought I was mad and slept on the sofa. I tried to explain to my friend who came back from uni at christmas that I thought Dylan was "Evil" but he told me all mothers thing that at it will be ok. So I battled on thinking this is what mothers go through. Eventually I was diagnosed with PND then after I told the whole truth I was diagnosed with PND with Psychosis. Im now off my anti psychotic medication but I feel Im scarred for life, I still get so angry that I begged for help and my partner did nothing but ignore me. Hed say things like "If you go to the doctors, your admitting there is a problem, so dont go" & "you dont need tablets, its all in your head". Weve split up a couple of weeks ago, but all though my illness he never once put his arm round me, he just used to leave me sobbing on my own. I forgot about it for a while but now a dear friend of mine has been diagnosed with PND and its brought it all back because her partner and parents are saying the same things. Is there a chance I have Post traumatic stress from all this? Will I ever be able to forgive my partner and my friend for not supporting me and getting me help sooner. Dylan was 4 1/2 months old before I got any treatment, and that whole time was just a living nightmare. It was the Health visitor that began to notice I was acting strange. When Dylan was 4 weeks old, I went to the Doctors and told her I couldnt cope, but she put it down to relationship difficulties. If shed have diagnosed me then I could of been saved from the sheer hell that was to come. Will I ever be able to let this go and realise that its such a taboo subject that people dont know what to do or say? My email address is rachel.holliday@talk21.com If anyone has a similar story to me. I just read about all these people that had such supportive partners who were desperate to try and help their partners and I feel I was more alone than most. I feel better for letting all this out, I just hope one day Ill get over it.

From: Helena
Date: 2/8/02
Time: 3:33:33 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.198.44

Comments

Hey! I'm so sorry you are battling PPD. We are all pulling for you and want you to know we totally support you.

I really don't have a lot to add to Randy's message; I thought it was excellent, but just wanted you to know many folks are out there in your corner. Please don't hesitate to come back to this website as often as we can help you! None of us is experts; however, we promise to try to find answers to your questions if we don't have them for you. Remember, YOU ARE GOING TO GET WELL AND HAVE A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN! We love you!

From: Helena
Date: 2/8/02
Time: 3:45:17 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.198.44

Comments

Hey, Rachel

I am emailing you a response to your message. My name is Helena. So sorry you have been TWICE a victim -- once of postpartum depression and once of society's ignorance of a very serious illness which resulted in your being treated like a second-class citizen. That's exactly why some of Ruth's friends and I started this Foundation.

Please feel free to email me directly or post messages on this website as often as you like.

We love you and want you well as quickly as possible.

Love, Helena

From: johannah
Date: 2/14/02
Time: 4:48:31 PM
Remote Name: 213.122.38.173

Comments

Dear rachel, you sound like you are now recovering really well because you are all fired up which is really reat for you and your son , very few people especially men understand pnd and your partners reaction is really common they just can't get to gripe with it i had pnd and unsopportive husband i am now recovered and we are still together , it was hard but don't think that all men are unsympathetic because they are'nt.If you need to talk just e-mail me at higleyjohannah@hotmail.co.uk

From: Rebecca
Date: 2/16/02
Time: 1:28:32 AM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.119

Comments

I am 5 months along in my 6th pregnancy (4 kids, 1 miscariage). I have suffered PPD with all my births (3 c-sections, 1 VBAC). I am usually "up" during my pregnancies but this time I have been severely depressed. My husband said "it seems like PPD right now instead of after." I had to agree. I spoke with my OB and he was very concerned . I had been on Prozac before I became pregnant & went off immediately when I suspected I was pregnant. It seems that probably contributed to the severity of depression. Anyway, I am back on medication & plan to stay on it for quite some time. This is hard to accept; my mother is manic-depressive (bipolar) & our family tree is loaded with mental illness. I so want to be different and want things to be different for my daughter as well. Thanks for your website. I am so sorry for your heartache & tragedy. You are turning it into a positive. Bless you.

From: Helena
Date: 2/16/02
Time: 12:47:58 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.195.209

Comments

Hey, Rebecca What a beautiful name! It was also my grandmother's name -- Helena Rebecca.

I'm so sorry you are once again experiencing PPD symptoms -- yes, that's exactly what is going on right now. My understanding is PPD tends to worsen with each pregnancy, so please stay on your medication!

Neither my daughter nor I ever had any problems with depression before Ruth experienced PPD, but I'm learning a lot from friends who are bipolar. One in particular made the remark, after someone else voiced the same thing you did about wanting to be different and not have to take medication, that she was so thankful there was medication available to treat it! And, as you know, there is nothing you can do about family history; however, thank God there is a multitude of medication available that works well.

Thank you so much for visiting our website and for your kind words. Please come back any time and let us know what we can do to help you.

Take good care of yourself because you are the most precious thing in the world to your family!!!

Love, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 2/16/02
Time: 12:48:58 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.195.209

Comments

Hey, Rebecca What a beautiful name! It was also my grandmother's name -- Helena Rebecca.

Thank you so much for visiting our website and for your kind words. Please come back any time and let us know what we can do to help you.

Take good care of yourself because you are the most precious thing in the world to your family!!!

Love, Helena

From: Joan Henderson
Date: 3/12/02
Time: 9:38:28 PM
Remote Name: 66.41.82.24

Comments

i am devastated to outraged regarding the Andrea Yates trial. I need to talk to some enlightened people who can help me deal with my feelings. I had postpartum depression 32 years ago & had no support.....i believe my children were at risk due to lack of education/understanding on my part, the medical profession treating me w/drugs & a husband who was ashamed to embarassed by my emotional outbursts. I would very much like to do something for this woman. Please offer any suggestions to what i can do for her. My outrage is also towards the medical profession as well as the legal system.....i also need help in how to deal with my feelings towards her husband. Thank you. sincerely, joan Henderson shender@attbi.com 651-430-0940 2665 Oriole Ave. Stillwater, MN 55082

From: Helena
Date: 3/13/02
Time: 1:37:54 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.102.174

Comments

Hey, Joan

I, too, am extremely angry and disappointed, although not very surprised at the result of Andrea's trial. My first reaction was to pray for her and her family. Yes, even including her husband. I totally agree that he had a large part to play in her tragedy, as did her physicians, but I still can't imagine the hell he is living here on earth as a result. Of course, it pales as compared to hers!

I'm not sure what I can tell you to help you, though. My gut feeling is a trained counselor and your pastor could help you a lot more. I sense you're having some real problems with forgiveness, and that is completely understandable given what you have experienced.

The one thing I do want to emphasize to you is, it is important that you never forget that you had nothing to do with causing your illness, nor with the lack of support you received, nor with the inept medical treatment you received. So, if you have had a tendency to do so, don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself because, under the best circumstances, postpartum depression does devastating things to you, your mind and your personality. And that's not your fault! With poor treatment and little support, PPD is pure torture and leaves very deep scars. That's why I would urge you to seek some professional counseling, preferably with someone who is familiar with the intricacies of PPD.

As far as what you can do for Andrea, I'm not sure. Two possibilities come to mind: (1) Pray for her daily (2) On the Postpartum Support International website (www.postpartum.net), you will find an address where you could write her a letter of support and encouragement. I think it's her attorney's address.

I'm not sure whether I have adequately addressed all your concerns, Joan, so please feel free to email me at BuzerHel@aol.com if I can assist you further.

I'm so sorry you've had such a bad experience, but hopefully the new awareness of PPD will provide you with some resources to help you that weren't there 34 years ago when you needed them so desperately.

The good news is you DID survive and so did your children. That's a tremendous amount for which to be thankful. It could have turned out so much worse. I know it's hard, but try to focus on the fact that you've all been spared, and you've been spared for a reason.

Please feel free to contact us any time and as often you like!

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: Elaine Earl
Date: 3/13/02
Time: 4:46:45 PM
Remote Name: 128.23.153.88

Comments

Dear Mrs. Henderson,

Thank you for your outrage! Feelings are very powerful – it was our feelings that led us to start this foundation. The more we get mad and the more women that join us, maybe we can do something to change the stigma that new mothers feel and how the medical community treats postpartum depression. I, too, am saddened thinking of what Mrs. Yates will go thru and I wish her husband could be chained to her side thru the whole thing! I think that Helena’s idea of writing a letter to her attorney is a great one – at least she will know that there are women who have their hearts aching for her, and wish there was something more we could do.

Elaine Earl, Charleston, SC

From: Jessica Banas
Date: 3/17/02
Time: 4:53:09 PM
Remote Name: 12.233.165.21

Comments

I just saw the photos of Ruth. *sigh* What a beauty! Thank you for letting me know they were posted. Blessings to you and the foundation my dear friend! Love and Hugs, Jess GOD does not make mistakes....He makes miracles!!!!

From: Helena
Date: 3/18/02
Time: 12:54:09 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.107.32

Comments

Hey, Jess I can always count on your for mega support. Thank you so much. There are three of us in the Foundation, and it takes all three to keep up! Mary Anna is the website creator; Elaine is the idea lady; and I'm the mouth! Love you, Helena

From: Melanie Robinson
Date: 3/20/02
Time: 12:28:31 AM
Remote Name: 63.127.61.24

Comments

Hi Helena! Just wanted to stop in to enjoy your website and your additions of Ruth's photos. She is beautiful and I am so thankful for all your work at postpartum support group online and your continued e-mails to keep me informed. I'm busy doing everything I can to keep the public and mainly any women possibly suffering from postpartum illness to have the support they need in my neck of the woods. Love, Melanie

From: Helena
Date: 3/20/02
Time: 1:02:46 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.192.51

Comments

Hey, Melanie

Good to hear from you again. I see you are as much a night owl as I am!

Thank you for your kind words and thank you for all your work in your corner of our world. After recent events, we certainly have our work cut out for us, don't we? But at least the awareness is becoming greater and I can see more interest being taken in PPD within the medical community.

A medical friend of mine who works at The Medical University of South Carolina and who is initiating the use of PPD screening at MUSC, recently told me that in her research she has learned that PPD affects MORE pregnant women than ALL THREE of the leading pregnancy complications put together that are currently addressed by OBGYN's. So please tell me why it has been ignored for so long?????? Oh well, the good news is maybe this is the beginning of some serious prenatal/PPD treatment changes and greater interest in more research. Let's pray so!

Take care and keep up the good work!

Love, Helena

From: Rebecca
Date: 3/22/02
Time: 1:14:09 AM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.34

Comments

Thank you for posting the photos. I imagine it is difficult and healing at the same time. My OB Dr. has been very supportive in treating my PPD during pregnancy. I wish I would have had the courage several years ago to be honest about my struggles. Thank you so much for your work - it is bearing fruit. Blessings. Rebecca

From: Helena
Date: 3/23/02
Time: 1:07:51 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.199.151

Comments

Hey,Rebecca

Thank you so much for your encouraging message. You're right, sharing my experience and my daughter with everyone is both difficult (at times) and healing. But thank God I have this avenue to try to make some sense out of a totally senseless death. The Foundation and folks like you have literally been my salvation from deep, deep despair. I still have times when I think I'll never be able to continue without Ruth, but those times are few and fair between. Meeting special people like you and countless others has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I also have a son whom I love dearly and who makes life worth living.

Please let us know if we can ever help you in any way.

God loves you, and so do I. Helena

From: Tonya Rosenberg
Date: 3/31/02
Time: 11:33:36 AM
Remote Name: 12.230.81.67

Comments

I just want to thank everyone that has taken something so difficult and made it into a wonderful opportunity to help others. When you lost Ruth, you could have simply become angry and do nothing with that energy. Instead, you chose to honor her memory by spreading the word about postpartum mood disorders, and you've probably saved a lot of lives by choosing this path. Bless you all.

Tonya Rosenberg

From: Helena
Date: 3/31/02
Time: 6:28:56 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.207.211

Comments

Thank you so much, Tonya, for your kind words of encouragement. We all need them.

As devastating as losing Ruth was to all of us, to hear how much our help and support has helped women suffering from PPD keeps her death from being totally in vein. She would appreciate your support as much as we do.

Love, Helena

From: Mary Anna
Date: 4/11/02
Time: 7:04:08 PM
Remote Name: 68.59.21.95

Comments

I heard on the news this morning that Andrea Yates' family is considering suing her psychiatrist for not treating her properly (thus leading to the drowning of her children).

Any thoughts?

From: Maria
Date: 4/19/02
Time: 2:02:06 PM
Remote Name: 216.68.129.210

Comments

They should sue the dr. that took her off Halidol, if you followed the case that seemed to be when she really went over the edge. His mother and her husband should be on trial as well, they left those kids along with a women they called in interviews "unable to care for herself, like a grown child" yet they walked out the door and left her alone with the children.

From: Helena
Date: 4/19/02
Time: 11:12:20 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.204.69

Comments

Thanks, Maria, for your comments regarding the lawsuit issue. I fully agree that Andrea's psychiatrist should be held accountable for his poor judgment in taking her off her medication.

Now, I have a question. Should psychiatrists' practices provide treatment coverage for their patients over the week ends? I don't know of any other doctor who doesn't have some sort of "on call" provision for week end treatment of their patients, but my experience has been with psychiatric treatment their patients who call on Fridays in suicidal distress are told to either make an appointment for Monday or go to the ER. I, personally, have a problem with that.

Any comments?

From: Michelle
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 12:28:33 PM
Remote Name: 66.207.6.157

Comments

Can someone out there posibly give me some advice here because I am deperate for some answers to what is going on with me. I had a baby last September and the last month or two have been so different for me. I seem to want to sleep a lot more. I sometimes want to just eat all the time, and other times don't care if I eat anything. I cry a lot, and feel so sad. I have had feelings of doing harm to myself, and have even had thoughts of suicide. Sometimes I have so many feelings inside my head I can't even think straight. I get a lot of chest pains, and anxiety attacks. I also have a daughter who is 8, and I love my girls so much. I am afraid of what is going on here and of what I might do in a moment where I feel no control. Has anyone out there felt like this, and if so, please write back.

From: Helena
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 3:50:20 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.104.163

Comments

Hey, Michelle

Please go for help immediately! Check with your doctor -- OBGYN, pediatrician, general practitioner, if one of them is experienced in treating postpartum depression -- and if they don't have any suggestions you feel comfortable with, locate a psychiatrist or other doctor who is knowledgeable about PPD because that's what it sounds like you're experiencing.

If you have even one more suicidal thought and cannot find a doctor to see you today, go to the emergency room closest to you.

What I think is happening is your hormones are out of balance since having your baby and this imbalance is affecting the ability of your brain to function normally. You are NOT crazy and you WILL NOT feel like this the rest of your life! PPD is a totally treatable illness, but you must get treatment today. It is imperative that you get on some medication that will help your brain function more normally. And if you're breastfeeding, there are medications you can take and still breastfeed.

Please call me immediately at 843 881-2047 if you cannot find help today. And if you just don't have the energy to search for help, get someone else to do it for you. There is help out there.

If you'll give me your email address, I'll send you a lot more information about where to go for additional supportive help.

Please get back to me either through email (BuzerHel@aol.com), here at the message board or calling me as soon as possible, Michelle. We love you and are here to help you through this! I'll put you in touch with some other women who have felt the same way you are feeling and are now recovered and functioning like their old selves.

God loves you, Michelle, and so do I. Helena

You are a good person, a good mom and you will get well with proper treatment!!

From: Mary Anna
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 4:09:43 PM
Remote Name: 216.235.192.10

Comments

I can't agree with Helena more. Call your doctor right away and MAKE them listen to you. Sometimes medical professionals that we talk to about these issues may downplay or make us think our feelings are "normal". If you feel you are getting that type of response, call someone else!

Tell your doctor everything you are feeling so they can get you the help you need right away!

From: Helena
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 9:38:31 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.207.62

Comments

Hey, Karen

I'm sorry, but I don't know anyone who is up on treating PPD in the Washington area; however, if you will go to www.postpartum.net (sorry, I can't create a link)to the Postpartum Support International (PSI) website, they have a list of folks in various parts of the country who are knowledgeable in treating/assisting with PPD problems. I'm not sure you can find it directly on their website; you may have to email Jane Honikman whose email address is on the web. If you have any problems with this, please let me know.

Sometime in the near future, I hope we will have a physician referral page on our website provided by women who have received successful treatment and are very pleased with the care they received from their doctor.

Please, if we can be of any further assistance to you, do not hesitate to let us know.

Love, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 4/25/02
Time: 9:50:46 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.49

Comments

Hey, Michelle

I'm concerned about you. When you have a minute, would you let me know how you're doing?

I'm praying you will find a doctor, quickly, who can help you. Please don't give up.

Another avenue of help is to go to www.ppdsupportpage.com which is an online PPD support group. I'm not sure whether I gave you that link yesterday or not. You will find lots of moms with similar experiences to yours as well as some ladies who are pretty knowledgeable about PPD who will be happy to answer your questions and give you lots of encouragement and support.

Please let us know how we can help you. You ARE going to get well!

Love, Helena

From: KarenV
Date: 4/24/02
Time: 5:03:23 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.196.53

Comments

Hi friends, My sister is about to have her second child and after the birth of the first one she had ppd/anxiety/ very exterme case. She lives in the Washington DC area and is having trouble finding anyone with a proactive approach to treating it. The next baby is due mid June and she is looking to find some help. Any suggestions? Thanks, Karen

From: Rebecca
Date: 4/28/02
Time: 8:13:17 PM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.34

Comments

Hi - please don't give up, Michelle. There is help and hope out there. I have had PPD after all of my babies (4) and have had it during this pregnancy (due 6/26/02). Those hormones can really get out of kilter and make you feel all sorts of things. Please don't be afraid to get help - there is nothing to hide or be ashamed about. To all, I read Marie Osmond's book "Behind The Smile" about her journey out of PPD. It is excellent! I highly recommend it.

From: Helena
Date: 4/28/02
Time: 11:11:26 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.103.162

Comments

Hey, Michelle

I'm worried about you since we haven't heard from you. Please take a minute to let all of us know you're okay. As you can see, you have quite a few people who care about you and are pulling for you.

We love you, Michelle, and wish you well! Helena

From: Rebecca
Date: 5/8/02
Time: 11:31:59 PM
Remote Name: 24.88.80.34

Comments

I went to the Dr. yesterday - I had gained 10 lbs. in 1 month and measured way ahead of my due date. My BP is up slightly but no swelling. Dr. scheduled me for a level 2 ultrasound next week. I am worried . Also, Dear Hubby had a nuclear stress test today after an abnormal stress test for his heart a week ago. We are major league stressed! I am trying not to get too down. Please pray for us. Thanks. Rebecca, Cola. SC EDD:6/26/02 p.s. I am still taking my meds :>)

From: Helena
Date: 5/9/02
Time: 12:02:27 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.192.166

Comments

Hey, Rebecca

I just said a prayer and will continue to do so. Would you like me to put you and your family on our S.C. Via de Cristo prayer chain that covers the entire state and some of N.C. and Ga. as well?

Please let us help you in any way we can. If you are up to the trip, I urge you to take advantage of the PPD support groups we offer here in Charleston. We have a very special group of super-caring ladies who would love to give you the support and care you need right now. I cannot tell you how beneficial PPD support groups are. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't take Ruth up to Raleigh, NC where they have an excellent group. At that time, it was the closest one to Lexington, SC.

Our groups meet every 1st and 3rd Thursdays in the month from 7:00 - 8:30 p.m. and every 3rd Saturday morning at 10:30 a.m. For more detailed information on the groups, please check out that section of this website.

Please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com and/or call me at 843 881-2047 so I can give you more detailed information.

We were almost in Columbia today! Ruth's husband, Joey, and his new wife just had a baby girl yesterday afternoon, and we were going up to see them. We got as far as Holly Hill and had to turn back because of all the smoke from the forest fires in Ga. Both my husband and I have some rather severe respiratory problems and couldn't handle the smoke. We have other family in the Columbia area, too, so we are in the area fairly frequently. I would be happy to come meet you as soon as possible if you would like that (after the smoke clears!).

Please let us know how we can help you and your husband get through this. And you WILL get through it.

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: RC
Date: 5/20/02
Time: 3:29:23 PM
Remote Name: 12.6.145.17

Comments

Hi Karen,

I live in the Washington DC area as well and I have an excellent psychiatrist. He is in Old Town Alexandria. He has treated me several times for various problems (including PPD) and he is the best doctor I have ever had. Some of them are very incompetent (judging from my own personal experiences) and sometimes you really have to search around before you can find something/somebody who can help you in the right way for YOU. I really think my doctor could help your sister. He is a little expensive (probably about $250 for the initial consultation and then $100 for each medication management session) but when it comes to somebody's well being you can't really affix the price tag. I urge you to tell your sister about this doctor. His name is Dr. Michael Hertzberg 703 548 3384. Unfortuately, I did not attend any support groups so I don't know of any to recommend, but the Washington DC area is so large (obviously) that there should be lots of groups--it's just a matter of finding them.

Good luck to your sister

From: Tami
Date: 5/26/02
Time: 11:00:19 PM
Remote Name: 209.105.50.52

Comments

I had my daughter almost 3 years ago. She is our only child. I have been having a difficult time from the beginning. Although I returned from the hospital very anemic (hemoglobin barely 6), and my daughter was very demanding (breast-feeding every 2 hours and ate for nearly 45min-hour- 24 hours a day and cried whenever she wasn't eating) and became very colicky, and did not sleep through the night greater than 5 hours straight until she was 5 months old, I feel that I am now just beginning to slowly recover. I have been seeing a naturopath doctor who has prescribed to me many supplements, dietary changes, etc. and I am now feeling better than I have since I had my daughter. I have been offered anti-depressants, but I feel that this is not depression. My naturoipath also feels that this is not depression. I have problems with sleeping, low energy, and a decreased interest in past activities I use to find enjoyable- and absolutely NO sex drive. I feel this is hormonal. I'm going to be 38 this summer and I truly feel that this is a peri-menopausal situation that may have been triggered by all of the hormonal fluctuations related to pregnancy, post-partum period, the stress and intense demands from my daughter as my body slowly tried to recover from a traumatic birth, and the extended period that I breast-fed (15 months). Any comments? Could this possibly be PPD? Still? Or... is PPD truly a depression that is short-lived? Thanks!

From: Helena
Date: 5/27/02
Time: 1:16:05 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.32

Comments

Hey, Tami

The symptoms you describe are classic PPD symptoms. Also, the problems you experienced during birth and after are contributing factors (risk factors) to triggering PPD. Since I'm not a doctor, I'm not sure what else may be going on, but you are absolutely correct that this is a hormonal thing and you could be experiencing some pre-menopausal problems along with PPD.

I have some major chemical problems from being chemically poisoned, and a holistic chiropractor helped me beyond belief; however, I know of no one who has been treated through herbs, etc. for PPD so I don't feel comfortable addressing that. I do know that the large variety of psychotropic drugs (and I hate drugs!) available today have been extremely successful in treating PPD. I also know that if it is not properly treated, it (or some type of depression) can continue for years. There are those who feel if the depression lasts longer than a year or so, it then becomes some other type of depression. Whatever the name, the results are the same -- suffering. You can be helped -- you don't need to continue suffering.

I know of a classic example of untreated PPD I can share with you. This mother experienced PPD after her first child almost 12 years ago and was afraid to tell anyone about it because she really didn't know she had PPD. She just thought there was some quirk in her makeup that made her not want to have anything to do with her baby. She recently became pregnant again and was terrified she would go through the same misery she did previously and that there would be no way she could love this baby. She even considered abortion and adoption.

Well, the mom finally told someone about her PPD and was immediately placed on medication while she was pregnant since she had begun experiencing PPD symptoms during pregnancy. After about a month, she began feeling much better. The baby was born earlier this month; she adores her and is even enjoying breastfeeding -- something she never thought she would be able to bring herself to do, much less enjoy it.

I hope this information has been helpful to you. If you would like to email me your address, I would be happy to mail some more detailed PPD information to you.

Please feel free to come back to this message board as often as you like and/or email me at BuzerHel@aol.com any time.

Postpartum depression is totally treatable. You don't have to suffer. Whether you are actually still experiencing PPD or some other form of depression, it is all treatable.

Love you, and praying for your complete recovery, Helena

From: Helena
Date: 5/27/02
Time: 1:18:41 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.193.32

Comments

We have recently created a prayer chain for PPD sufferers and their families. If you would like to be added to the list of folks for whom we are praying, please contact me through this message board or at BuzerHel@aol.com.

From: Lorena
Date: 8/1/02
Time: 1:12:20 PM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.165

Comments

Hi Helena, thanks for this forum and the website. I'm the mother of 3 and although none of us realized it, I had PPD and Post Partum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder after the birth of my first baby. It went untreated for almost 3 long years. During that time I had our second child and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (which contributes greatly to depression) when everything went to you-know-where-.

Just as I was realizing something was dreadfully wrong, I wanted to die and hurt my children, I reached out for help. It took almost a full year and two hospitalizations for me to find the right doctors who would help me.

During that time, I found out that I was expecting our third baby. The doctors told me that due to problems in stablizing my thyroid, my body wasn't making enough estrogen to ovulate. They were wrong. I take comfort in that God REALLY wanted this baby to be here, but the pregnancy for the first 4-5 months was a nightmare.

Anyway, I started with the SSRI's (in November), weekly visits with a therapist and bi monthly visits with the psych. doctor. Clouds began lifting...I began smiling again, even feeling normal..

It's been almost 6 weeks after the birth of our third baby and while I have days that are good, I feel like I'm slipping back into the depression. I meet with my doctors and they keep telling me that I'm so much better than when we started treatment. And they are right. But I feel so overwhelmed, I don't want to be around my kids, I want to just get away. I get scared when I get angry with the two "older" ones, because there is so much rage and fustration. I find myself wanting to hurt them because I'm so fed up. But then I realize they're just babies themselves and get so mad at myself for even feeling this way.

It seems that just as the PPD started wearing off, I gave birth and now it's making its insidious way back into my life. The negativity is back, the wanting to sleep all morning long is back, the feelings of being so overwhelmed that just makes me cry..mixed with a few good days here and there where I feel energetic and like I can do anything are leaving me so confused.

I'm taking the drugs, my mom and husband are helping with the kids, I'm getting the therapy, so why do I still feel this way?

From: Helena
Date: 8/1/02
Time: 11:52:44 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.15

Comments

Wow, Lorena. I'm so sorry you are having so much difficulty with PPD. It can be a real bear to shake, but it is treatable and it is temporary so hold on!

Was your dosage increased when your new baby was born? Are you participating in a support group? Are your doctors experienced in treating PPD? What about your thyroid now? Is that under control? Have you tried different drugs or have you been on the same one or ones all this time?

Thank God for the support you are receiving from your husband and mom! Do not hesitate to accept help from them and anyone else who is willing to give it, Lorena. You are not a bad person or a bad mom. You are working through a very serious illness and will have plenty of time to "give back to them" once you are well, so please accept the help you need right now.

I'd love to talk with you more, so please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com and let's see how we can help you get through this difficult time in your life.

Would you like me to add you to our PPD prayer chain?

If you are not a member of a support group, I highly recommend joining one. The benefits are invaluable. There, you can talk with women who have been where you are and have survived. That's pretty powerful and extremely reassuring! If you're not sure whether there is a group near you, Postpartum Support International at www.postpartum.net has a list of groups all over the country and would be happy to tell you if there is a group near you.

Do you live in South Carolina? If so, please consider coming to our group in Charleston. If you'll email me, I'll give you more detailed information about that.

The only other suggestion I can make right now is to make sure your doctors are very savy about PPD; unfortunately, most doctors are not. There are lots of drugs out there that help with PPD, but everyone is different and so is each case of PPD so sometimes it can take some time finding the right combination for your specific body. Please, Lorena, do not give up the fight. Your family and your children love you dearly and need you desperately. We, at this website, also love you and want you to get well as quickly as possible. Just keep reaching out for help wherever you can find it, and know that you ARE GOING TO GET WELL!

Another website I highly recommend is www.ppdsupportpage.com. This is an online PPD support website and has lots of caring people who are knowledgeable about PPD. There are many women who have suffered from PPD and also those who are currently suffering from it. There are also some counselors/therapists who participate in the "Ask the Expert" forum on that website.

Another VERY important thing is to get as much rest as possible and stay a stress free as possible.

Please email me tomorrow and let me know how you're doing, Lorena.

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: One more thing, Lorena
Date: 8/2/02
Time: 12:26:26 AM
Remote Name: 152.163.188.168

Comments

Hey, Lorena

I'm sure you know this, but just to be on the safe side I thought I'd remind you to make sure you are not alone with the children when you are feeling so badly. I'm sure it's tough to keep all the bases covered with three children, but just keep remembering THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY even though it feels like it's permanent. It's NOT permanent and the inconveniences you and your family might have to endure right now will be worth their weight in gold once you are well. Your family will be in tact and you will be back to your normal self again.

As bad as things seem now, they could be worse. Please take whatever measures are necessary to ensure your safety and the safety of your children until you are well again. You are all very precious!!

Love you lots! Helena

From: Helena
Date: 8/2/02
Time: 10:19:27 AM
Remote Name: 205.188.209.165

Comments

Hey, Lorena

We seem to be experiencing some difficulties with our website. I read your message last night and wrote two messages back to you. By some slim chance, did you happen to receive them? If you get this message, please email me at BuzerHel@aol.com and let me know how you're doing today.

If I don't hear from you today, I'll post another message tonight, but the bottom line is we are here for you to help you in any way we can; PPD is totally treatable and is temporary. Please hang in there until you can find the right drug combination that will work for you.

Also, please make sure you are not alone with your children while you're feeling so badly. Thank God for the good help and support from your mom and husband!

I highly recommend becoming involved in a PPD support group if there is one near you. Check with Postpartum Support International (if you do not live in or near South Carolina and cannot attend ours) at www.postpartum.net to see if any support groups are located near you.

Also, www.ppdsupportpage.com is an excellent online PPD support group. There are women who are very knowledgeable about PPD, women who have suffered from it and those who are now suffering from it and there are also some therapists who answer questions on the "Ask the Expert" forum. Go to the top of the home page and click on "Forums". On second page, drop down a little and you will see "Ask the Expert".

Would you like us to put you on our PPD prayer chain? I'm already praying for you and your family now, but we have about 40 people who have volunteered to pray for women suffering from PPD, which is pretty awesome.

You're going to get through this and get well, Lorena! Please keep in touch with us and the online support group until you can find a group near you.

God loves you, my sister, and so do I. Helena

From: Emily B.
Date: 8/11/02
Time: 12:36:35 AM
Remote Name: 206.148.44.117

Comments

Hi, who ever is outhere this late at night. Well, here I am again, trying to find some solutions, knowing already what an incredible life change having a baby is, I don't know if I actually depressed or just ovwewhelmed, please give me some guidance on what to do. I have an anxiety disorder and i want to tell everybody how good i did all throughout my tuff pregnancy and birth. But then things got complicated, my son was 3 weeks premature and had to stay in the nursery for 5 days with a lot of tubes and a breathing machine and i just couldn't stop crying. Then i cryed so much the day we had to leave to go home. I just couldn't believe they really let me go home with such a defenseless tinny little one, so i guess i cryed a lot because i was scared, i didn't know how to handle everything that was going on and i think my chilhood imaturity whatever it's called these days really ended there because now there's no more room for mistakes, for being irresponsable, for not caring for this or that, no excuses, no delegating, no waitng for mommmy to come and solve it for you, just you, your husband and a crying baby. So, 3 months have passed now and we're still as sleep deprived as in the beggining, my mother already went back to her home, she has a life too, everybody else has a life, you know, Paul and I still don't know very well how to take care of our precious beautiful baby and have some kind of a normal life back again. The house is a mess, it will probably stay like that for years, we even missed work occasionally because we needed to sleep, the hospital bills keep piling up, because we only found out later, too late, that 100% coverage hardly ever means what it is commonly thought to mean, and my son is beautiful at 3 months, almost 16 pounds, i still breastfeed him whenever he needs me, sometimes he stays with his grandmother because we bought a pump and i pump milk for him, and the babysitter expenses are leaving us broke, there's no more savings in what used to be our savings account, now school will start again and i don't even know if i won't sleep in class or if i'll be able to cope, after all, it's been a while, i never had such an incredible year, i spent months in rest, i'm still tired and ironically full of hope. I repeat to myself all the time, hey, you can do this, but then the baby wakes up again and cryes and all i want to do, my last birthday wish, was to sleep through an entire night. So, is there anyone outhere in the some circunstances? I bet there is! Please contact me, my email is mimirouge@hotmail.com

From: Maria
Date: 8/20/02
Time: 10:22:29 PM
Remote Name: 152.163.201.79

Comments

I suffered from a severe PPD after the birth of my first child. I required two weeks of hospitalization. All I remember saying was that what was happening to me was just not me, but some how I could not get out of it. I needed help desperately and thank goodness I fell into the hands of a good psychiatrist. I am happy to say that with the right medication and good therapy my first child is already 5 and my second is now 6 months! I am doing very well. Similar to any illness, there are some good days and bad, but it is being treated and it definitely is manageable.

From: Mandy
Date: 9/10/02
Time: 3:53:16 PM
Remote Name: 64.33.187.32

Comments

I was recently found to have PPD,and my baby is all most 6months old. From the day we came home from the hospital I was cleaning and always on the go. I could not even sit down to watch tv,I was very crabby all the time. I had the night sweats,and could not sleep at night.Finally this affected everyone that was in my house. And I could not do it anymore. Iam taking Zoloft 50mg a day, and it's only been 7 days but I already feel better! I can sit and relax at least for 20 minutes. PLEASE contact me if you are feeling the same way or have been through this gtm31@hotmail.com

From: Helena
Date: 9/11/02
Time: 1:37:35 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.170

Comments

Hey, Mandy

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. It's great to hear PPD success stories. Just in case you are not aware, however, PPD has a habit of coming and going so don't panic if your symptoms come back from time to time. Just keep in close touch with your doctor and above all, take your medication exactly as prescribed. That's really important. Feel free to email me anytime at the email address for the foundation. I'd love to hear from you.

I'm so happy to hear you're feeling so much better. God willing, you've caught your illness in time and you're over the worst! That's why we encourage women to be treated as soon as they suspect they may be suffering from postpartum depression. The earlier it's treated, the less severe it seems to be and the sooner recovery can take place.

God bless you, Mandy.

Love, Helena

From: Andie
Date: 9/16/02
Time: 12:19:47 AM
Remote Name: 216.221.81.97

Comments

I am a breastfeeding mamma of a 9 month old with PPD and no family doctor, what can I do? Are there all natural treatment methods available?

From: Helena
Date: 9/16/02
Time: 12:30:50 AM
Remote Name: 64.12.96.205

Comments

Hey, Andie

I'm so sorry you're dealing with PPD, but you will get well! Can I get you to email me at BuzerHel@aol.com so I can email you in greater detail than I can place on this message board?

If you are willing to tell me where you live, I may be able to help you find a doctor in your area who knows how to treat PPD or I may be able to give you someone's name who can help you find good medical help for PPD.

I'm sorry, but I don't know of any natural treatments I would trust. PPD is thought to be caused by mega doses of hormones in your body at the time of birth that, for some unknown reason, do not level back off to normal after birth. These mega doses of hormones effect the way think and feel, making you feel like you're going crazy, that you're a bad mom, that you cannot function well in the simplist daily tasks, etc. The best, most effective treatment I know of is through medication to help level off these hormones.

I sympathize with your wanting to breastfeed your baby, but the baby has had a wonderful, healthy start in life with 9 months of breastfeeding. It is most important that you take care of yourself now -- which in turn is also taking the best possible care of your baby.

I'd like to give you more information and helpful websites to visit, so please email me the first chance you get.

We will help you in any way we possibly can, Andi. There is help out there. Just hang in there.